Somewhere I Belong
by Ickle Siri n Jamiekins
Summary: After Sirius' death, Harry tries to get the pieces of his life together, but he needs a little help from someone not from his time...(Back to the Past fic)
1. Numb

**A/N:** Hello readers! This is Steph and Deeps here - your authors. ) We've written this fic together, even though we live in totally different countries. Hope you like it! This fic had been put up on before, but it was removed. Hopefully we'll get our old readers back! Please review when you're done!

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**Somewhere I Belong**

**Chapter One – Numb**

Harry Potter lay on the cold ground looking up at the sky. There was no star in the sky, but the sky was still a magnificent dark blue color. Not that Harry really cared. The feeling of regret and emptiness inside stung at his heart as he angrily pounded his fist on one of his Aunt Petunia's flowers. Sirius was dead, and it was his fault. He glared at the flower he had crushed as if blaming it for the death of Sirius and then sighed. For once in his life, the Dursleys were leaving him alone. Maybe it was the fact that they realized that Harry wasn't talking at all, or maybe it was because they had realised one of their knives in the kitchen had disappeared. Harry didn't really care - at least he was being left alone. Harry pulled down one sleeve of his long-sleeved t-shirt and stared at the jagged cuts that etched through his skin from wrist to elbow. He hated seeing the cuts, they made him feel sick - but producing them made him feel better. Harry didn't exactly want to die, although he sometimes came close to it - and he knew that. He also knew that if he did die, he would see Sirius and his parents again.

Sirius.

A lump grew in his throat and his eyes stung as he thought of that name. He'd been avoiding it during the day - but of course, during the night, it haunted his thoughts and his dreams. He could barely count the number of times he had seen Sirius fall into the veil anymore. That dream came almost every night; that's why Harry tried not to sleep. Cutting himself was the only way he could be free - for a while. The dreams always came back. Harry watched his blood trickle down his arms every night, his screams for Sirius echoing in his mind. Everything was about Sirius. Sirius' words from Harry's third year crossed his mind everyday - how Harry had almost had a new home - a place where he belonged, far from the Dursleys. But he was a tool - nobody really cared about The Boy-Who-Lived. He was just their tool to freedom. How he wished they could see him now, he thought bitterly. His mind turned to Voldemort and he glared up at the sky. This was all because of Voldemort. That was all he gave anyway - heartbreak and sorrow.

Sirius' face replaced Voldemort's and Harry fell into a silent reverie. All he wanted was out - right now. To feel no more pain, no more sorrow...he just wanted to be somewhere where he truly belonged. Anywhere but here.

He slowly got up and decided to go for a walk. Dudley had started yelling inside, and it was getting on his nerves. Stupid Dudley. Harry trudged down the sidewalk slowly, Dumbledore's words echoing in his head.

"You have now lost your mother, your father and the closest thing you ever had to a parent. Of course you care."

And yes, he cared. He cared a lot. Harry cursed under his breath as he crossed the street and headed towards the park.

* * *

Sirius stared at James as he lay back on his bed. He was very bored. James let out a sigh and kept quiet. "Prrroonnggss...I'm bored," Sirius whined, getting up off his bed and plopping down next to James. 

"Padfoot, you are ALWAYS bored," James muttered, rolling his eyes.

"'Tis the dog in me!"

"Okay then, so you wanna play fetch??" James questioned innocently and sat up. Sirius scowled at his best friend who was now grinning cheekily at him.

"Very funny Prongs - and you should be happy I'm not sticking a saddle on you!"

"Ha, like you could. Look, why don't we try making up a spell? I did it once when I was 6 and I accidentally blew up my bed!" James suggested, laughing at his little memory.

Sirius rolled his eyes and hit James on the back of his head." You probably just had some fireworks stashed under it."

"Nope...Marauder's honour" said James; sticking his hands up like a boy scout, grinning stupidly. Sirius rolled his eyes again and sighed," Fine, if you insist"

"Oh I do, Paddy, I do" James stated and pulled out his wand. Sirius did the same. "Right, I say one word and you say the next."

"Whatever"

"Paddy..."

"What?"

"That's the word," James said, grinning.

"Git...."Sirius muttered under his breath, but James took it was his word.

"Paddygit!!"

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Harry walked through the dark park and thought of what Sirius had said to him before he returned to Hogwarts after the Christmas holidays. 

"We'll see each other again Harry." How wrong he was - or at least, that's what Harry thought.

As he walked past the swing set, something strange began to happen. Harry began to glow a strange white color, and then, before he could do anything, the world around him began to disappear. The last thing he saw before everything went dark was the star Sirius had been named after shining down on him.

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	2. I Don't Think It's 1996 Anymore

**A/N: **Right, we are finally updating. Sorry it took so long! As an ickle bonus, you readers get two chapters at once hehe!

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**To Our Reviewers:**

Thank you all for reviewing!!!

**Elinn: **Elinnypoo!! Thank you so much for the review! Yes, we totally agree – Dudley IS stupid.

**CapriceAnn Hedican-Kocur: **Yippee on you being back! Keep reading, and reviewing, and we promise to post the chapters up fast.

**cindered-hope: **Yay hope you're happy that it's up once again. Shall try our best to put up the chapters as fast as possible, so that we can get back to how the fic was before it disappeared.

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**Somewhere I Belong**

**Chapter Two – I Don't Think It's 1996 Anymore**

"Nothing happened," Sirius said sourly. " You and your dumb ideas."

James frowned at him." I'm telling you! It worked that other time, and no. Before you say it again, I did NOT have fireworks under my bed!!"

"Alright, alright, I believe you!!! Now can we please give up on this making up spells thing?"

"Fine," James muttered, a little put out.

"Jamie, Jamie, Jamie," Sirius ranted. " Stop being such a killjoy"

The next minute, he had hit James with a pillow.

"Oh no you don't. No one hits James Potter and gets away with it!!" James jumped down from the bed n ran after Sirius around their dorm room with a pillow, giving Sirius a mischievous grin. Sirius jumped into Remus' bed, startling him out of sleep.

"Padfoot, WHAT are you doing in my bed at this time of the night? Get out!!" yelled Remus.

Sirius hid behind Remus, using him as a shield from James' pillow. "Shh, stop making so much noise, Moony. We're just having a pillow fight." He peeked out from behind Remus, only to be hit by James' pillow right in the face. "Arrgh!!"

Remus shoved Sirius off him and hurled a pillow at James, deciding to join in the fun. Seconds later, a full-fledged pillow fight was on, feathers flying as the three boys' shrieks of laughter filled the room.

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A little further away, Harry Potter was baffled as to what had just happened. One minute he had been lying down in the Dursleys' garden, and now he was lying on top of a toilet- one that bore amazing resemblance to the one near his dormitory at Hogwarts. He pushed open the door and walked out into the corridor, confirming his suspicions. He was indeed in Hogwarts, near the Gryffindor dorms. Hearing noises of movement and laughter coming from a room down the hall, he headed towards it, being careful not to make noise. He peered through the keyhole of the room, almost fainting when he saw who were in there- James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew. 

Either he had somehow gone into someone else's memory again, or he was in the past- back in the time his parents and Sirius were in Hogwarts. A suffocating kind of excitement filled him; accompanied with sadness and frustration that two of the people in the room weren't alive anymore. He stumbled backwards, accidentally knocking over a pot. Suddenly the noises coming from the room stopped.

He heard Sirius' voice. "Uh Prongs, did you hear that??"

"No, what was it?" James responded.

"I thought I heard someone outside our dorm room."

Footsteps approached the door, and Harry fled. He was pretty sure he was in the past now. Sirius had heard him, and that was definitely not possible in a memory, as he had learnt from his past experiences. He didn't know why he hadn't waited and let Sirius find him, but he somehow felt his similarity to James might just cause a bit of trouble. So he fled, as fast as he could, finally stopping in front of the gargoyle leading to Dumbledore's office.

"Sugar Quill...Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Cluster...Fizzing Whizbee...Lemon Drop...oh freaking hell just open!!! Chocolate Frog..." Finally the gargoyle moved and Harry stepped on to the moving staircase to the office. He knocked once, and then pushed the door open and peeked inside.

"James? No, you are not James," Dumbledore said, looking pretty much the same but much younger." I assume you are one of his relatives."

"Uh yes," Harry said, panting," I'm his son...uh I think I've somehow landed back in the past."

Dumbledore surveyed him quietly and then said," This is quite a predicament. I won't be able to send you back right now. Why don't you sit down and tell me what exactly has happened in the future so that I can decide what to do with you."

So, Harry sat down and told him every detail of what had happened. Finally, at the end, Dumbledore smiled at him, blue eyes twinkling under his glasses. "I assume you would like to spend a little time here before you go back. Am I right??"

Harry flushed and nodded.

"Right then, tomorrow morning I will introduce you as a transfer student at Hogwarts. You will be sleeping in James' dormitory. I will inform you about when I can send you back. You can stay here till morning."

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	3. Meeting The Past

**Somewhere I Belong**

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**Chapter Three – Meeting The Past **

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Harry woke up with a shiver and thought about the strange dream he had just had. For one second he almost believed it was true, but it wasn't. He hadn't just heard his dead father and godfather talking the night before...or had he? He slowly opened his eyes and sat up in shock as he saw two bright blue eyes looking down at him. The younger version of Dumbledore smiled at him, his moustache quivering.

"Ah good, you're awake!" He exclaimed, clapping his hands together. "I thought I'd have to wake you by myself! Now, please get dressed, for we must go down to the Great Hall to introduce you to your new...er...peers."

Harry nodded as Dumbledore walked out of his room and quickly started going through the trunk of clothing that had been provided. He threw on some clothes quickly, almost tripping over the hem of his robes. He couldn't believe what was happening; he was going to be attending classes with his 16-year-old father! Harry pinched himself to check if he really wasn't dreaming, but ended up regretting it. His overexcitement caused him to pinch hard. After pulling on his shoes, he quickly walked out of his room, meeting Dumbledore right outside.

"Alright then Harry, let's go." Dumbledore said, and they set off at a quick pace to the Great Hall for breakfast, Dumbledore talking all the way.

"You are an exchange student from a school in America...your last name will be Patter. Don't tell anyone that you are from the future, you understand? Especially people who are important in it," Dumbledore added, his eyes twinkling as he looked down at Harry. But Harry had more to worry about...he could hear lots of voices now, and without even realising, he had arrived in front of the Great Hall. He began to fidget with his robes till Dumbledore stopped him and smiled kindly.

"Do not worry...now come Harry. Meet the past."

With that statement, Dumbledore threw the doors open and curious faces turned to see who had caused such a racket. Heads turned as Harry nervously walked alongside Dumbledore to the teachers' table, and he could hear curious whispers all around him. When they reached the staff table, Dumbledore cleared his throat and waved his hands for silence. Harry scanned the Great Hall and his heart dropped as he realised that his dad or Sirius was nowhere in sight.

"Students, I have a little announcement to make. We have a new exchange student in our midst! I'd like to introduce you to Harry Patter - who has come here from a school in America. He will be joining the Gryffindor sixth years, and I trust you'll make him feel right at home." Silence followed Dumbledore's little speech, but after a few seconds, people began to talk again, and Harry found himself being ushered to the Gryffindor table by Dumbledore. With a last half-scared, half-worried look at Dumbledore, Harry slowly walked to the table he was so used to sit at in the future. Harry sat himself down next to a girl about his age with fiery red hair and tried to ignore the stares from fellow Gryffindors. The girl next to him cleared her throat and he looked up at her and found himself staring at a pair of green eyes..._his_ green eyes. This was his mother. Lily-

"-Evans." she stated her full name, a half smile on her face. "I'm in your year."

"I…uh…cool. I'm Harry."

"Yes, I figured," she stated, sounding a bit grumpy. Harry wondered if she was always like this. He must have had a strange look on his face because Lily sighed and said," I'm sorry...it's just, you look like someone I know…who I don't...er, approve of.... and he…uh"

The bell rang.

Lily quickly picked up her bag and smiled at Harry," Potions class now...I'll see you there."

And completely forgetting that Harry was supposedly new and had no clue where to go, she hurried out of the Hall. 'Great.' Harry thought, as he got up and started walking. 'She doesn't like me cause I look like my father...' Harry was so nervous about everything that he soon tuned out of the world he was in, and was only awoken when he collided with something hard.

_CRASH! _

Harry bumped into someone, knocking that person over. Harry steadied himself but almost fell over again when he saw whom he had knocked over.

"Uh...I'm sorry...I didn't see you, and-"

"It's okay," answered his future DADA teacher, smiling slightly. Harry nervously reached out his hand to help him up. He took it and Harry pulled him to his feet, muttering 'Harry Patter'.

"Remus Lupin." said the blonde boy, and the lack of graying hair and a deep sadness in his eyes startled Harry. "He have Potions now...we should go...the teacher is head of Slytherin, and absolutely hates Gryffindor students."

"Er, yeah. Okay." Harry answered, an image of Snape popping into his head. He hoped that this teacher wasn't related to Snape.

And so, Harry followed Lupin to the classroom where he attended Potions in the future. Remus walked to a seat near the back, and Harry, quite nervous, just followed and sat next to him. He saw Remus give him a strange 'What are you doing?' look and open his mouth to speak - but he never did. Suddenly, their teacher strode in and the class fell silent.

"Good morning everyone. Ah, the new student. Welcome, Mr. Patter." Harry was about to reply but the teacher just went on speaking. He was halfway through an explanation of his last lesson when the classroom door burst open and two people walked in as if they were not 10 minutes late.

"Aha, Misters Black and Potter. How _kind_ of you to join us." Harry looked at his dead godfather and father and saw that neither of them seemed to be sorry for coming late. Instead, both were grinning.

"No probs," chirped up James, and Remus let out a soft impatient sound.

"Now, can you please tell me why you were late, because if you can't come up with a good reason, that's 20 points off Gryffindor and a detention each." James seemed to be thinking hard, but Sirius just let out a sigh.

"Oh Professor, it was _horrible_..." he exclaimed in a mock fearful voice. "It was my first one!"

"First what, exactly, Black?" the professor asked, and Harry almost burst out laughing when Sirius let out an embarrassed giggle (exactly like a girl's). By the look on James' face, Harry could tell all this was made up.

"My first...you know...time of month." Sirius said in a loud whisper, blushing. James snorted loudly and almost fell over. Sirius grinned cheekily at the teacher as his face contorted (almost like Snape's did when Harry did something wrong and got away with it). He took 40 points off Gryffindor and gave them both detentions. Harry rolled his eyes in despair, not even realising James and Sirius coming towards him, their grins slowly fading at the sight of him.

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	4. The Evans Effect

**A/N: **Right…thank you ever so much for the reviews. We know our authors' notes aren't the same as they used to be, thanks to …we have this huge suspicion that because we wrote such crazy ones the last time this fic was up…it was taken off (. So well, we're trying to mellow down (yeah right), just so that our fic can be read, mind you. Anyway, before we bore you to death with this author's note, which we know half you guys skip, because we do that a lot, GO READ!! And please review, it makes us a great deal happier.

**Deeps/Paddy: **Oh by the way, Prongy/Steph (we call each other Padfoot & Prongs, in case you're wondering) does not like the way I make Sirius and Remus poke fun at Jamesie-poo here…LOL…because James is her favourite out of the Marauders, but my personal favourite is Sirius, so hah! P

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**To Our Reviewers:**

**Emma: **Hehe…we love the 'time of the month' bit too! And about this fic becoming a slash fic later…Harry/Sirius slash, to be more specific…the answer's a no. If you're a person who likes HPSB slash, we're sorry, because we're not too fond of it. Anyway, to clear up any confusion, this story isn't going to be slash at all. And oh, we're HPDM slash fans, so if you have any recommendations, they're welcome!

**Foul: **Harry and James friends? You'll just have to wait and see P. Nope, this story is not on hold.

**TasteJLC: **Right, Sarah, we've updated. Hope you're happy!Keep reading!

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**Somewhere I Belong**

**Chapter Four – The Evans Effect **

Harry stared down at his ingredients, a big smile on his face, feeling the happiest he'd felt in months. Sirius had taken the seat to his right, so that he was seated right between Sirius and Remus. He didn't notice James staring at him, still caught up in his moment of happiness. Suddenly he was shoved off his chair, and looking up, he saw James staring at him...a slightly angry and arrogant look on his face. Sirius, looking highly amused, was giving him a _'We're talking James Potter here, you DO NOT sit in his chair'_ look. Harry glared back at James and Sirius, feeling a wave of anger take over him.

"What the hell..." Harry began, only to be dismissed by a wave of James' hand.

James pulled his bag off his shoulders, dropped it down, plonked down on the chair and lazily arched one eyebrow, "I sit here. I _ALWAYS_ sit here. Get that???"

Sirius cut in cheerfully," Yup, didn't Remus tell you?!" Remus flushed, and gave Harry an apologetic look. Under his breath, he cursed James and Sirius and moved off towards an empty chair on the other side of the room.

* * *

James' eyes followed the new boy as he got off the floor, still glaring at James and Sirius. "Who's the new kid?" he asked Remus.

"Harry Patter, exchange student from America," Remus replied, still not looking very pleased with how James had acted," You could have been a bit more welcoming, you know, considering he's going to be staying in our dorm room."

"WHAT??!!"

"10 points from Gryffindor. Mr. Potter, I would kindly ask you to make a little less noise in my class, so that the others may listen, even if you aren't!!! One more word from you, and you shall have detention for a week!" yelled Professor Gobblesnap.

"Yes, Dumbledore told me," Remus muttered before turning away and starting to cut up his cockroaches.

"Urrgh, how nice," Sirius muttered sarcastically, "There goes all our midnight Maraudering." He dropped pieces of Wiggentree bark into his potion, looking disgruntled.

James snorted arrogantly," I don't see why he should stop us from doing anything...all we'll have to do is make sure he doesn't get in our way, by...WHAT, Evans???" Lily had been glaring at James for the last 5 minutes.

"Nothing Potter...nothing at all!!! Why the hell can't you shut that gob of yours for even a few minutes? _Some_ of us are trying to listen here!" Lily bellowed at him.

"Sorry, _darlingest_...but my '_gob_' just doesn't shut, no matter how much I try," James drawled, running a hand through his hair, "Though, considering how much Padfoot here talks, I'd say I'm pretty good at keeping my gob shut, don't you think?" Sirius responded by giving Lily a wide, cheeky grin. Lily gave them both a disgusted look, and turned away with a toss of her flaming red head.

James' face fell slightly, and he quickly said, "Hey Evans, want to see me blast Patter's potion into the air?? Nice welcoming present, huh?!"

Lily flounced over to James, after checking to see if Gobblesnap was watching. Catching hold of the collar of his robes, she yanked him towards her and furiously muttered, "Look Potter, listen up and listen good!! Just because you think you rule over this school, I AM NOT going to allow you to ruin Harry's stay here. Lay so much as a hand on him and you'll pay, understood??!!"

Sirius very much doubted James had understood. In fact, whether he'd even heard a single word Lily had said wasn't something to be too sure about. James had a slightly shocked look on his face, either from shock at Lily reacting this violently or because of his close proximity to Lily, and Sirius was pretty sure it was the latter. Lily suddenly let go of James, and he fell backward, landing clumsily on the floor, still staring at Lily in a bewildered manner.

"Class dismissed," Professor Gobblesnap said, and students started leaving the classroom. Lily collected her ingredients, and giving James one last disgusted look, she ran off towards Harry and joined him, and they both left the class together.

Remus glanced at Sirius, and they both exchanged amused glances, straining not to laugh out loud as James suddenly clambered up off the floor and looked at them, his face flushed.

"Uh, shouldn't we be heading towards Transfiguration??" James muttered.

Sirius let out a small chuckle, and the next minute he was rolling on the floor, joined by Remus. James blushed furiously as he realised they were laughing at him, and picking up his bag, he flounced out of the room.

Sirius, still laughing, slung his bag on his arm and ran to catch up with James, Remus behind him. He slung his arm around James' shoulders, and teasingly drawled, "Why Jamie, close contact with Evans sure has an effect on you."

Remus snorted loudly. James pushed Sirius away, his face on fire, and ran off in the direction of the Transfiguration classroom.

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	5. The 'Serious' Loss

**A/N:** Ahem yes…we know…this is a VERY LATE update. We are extremely sorry…but whatever; we've been REAL busy. Just be happy we're updating…and READ! Oh and because we've been ever so delayed in updating…here are TWO chapters for you…

Thank you all for your reviews: dweem-angel, Elinn, ZZShellyZZ, Constance Truggle, Ilana Starr.

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**Somewhere I Belong**

**Chapter 5 – The 'Serious' Loss**

James reached the transfiguration class in a bad mood. His mood got even worse though when he saw Lily and Harry laughing…together…about something. He hated that guy already, and he didn't even know him! He continued to glare at Harry, hoping he'd realise, and be afraid. That's what he needed. Harry to be afraid. He wanted to show Harry that Lily was his and no one else's. He couldn't just come here and take his interest!

But was that all Lily was? An _interest_? James wasn't so sure. Each time he looked at her...heard her voice...he felt a flutter in his stomach. Something he had never felt before. It was a weird feeling...but it felt good. Very good.

James was knocked out of his thoughts when he felt someone staring at him. It was Harry. James put on his most evil glare yet and watched Harry's facial expression change rapidly. James looked for fear, but fear he did not see. Instead, Harry's small apprehensive smile changed into a frown...and what James saw was sadness. Before he could do anything else though, Sirius and Remus ran into the corridor, completely out of breath.

"James! You stupid git! What's wrong with you!" Sirius exclaimed, panting heavily.

"Hmmm...?" James mumbled, turning to his two exhausted friends, eyeing them with an amused look on his face. "Oh...did you run here? After me?" James asked innocently and received a hit on the head from Sirius. "OW! Stupid dog!"

"Mr. Potter! Shut your mouth NOW!" came someone's voice, and all the students turned to find McGonagall staring sternly at them. "Class is about to begin, and I ask you to prepare yourself. Come in." James strode towards the door and bumped shoulders with the new kid. He didn't even pretend to bother. He just shoved past and sat down on his usual seat near the back, propping his legs up on the table as if he owned the place.

* * *

Harry left the great hall after dinner feeling depressed. This wasn't how he had imagined it to be when he found out that he was in his parents' time. Beside him, Lily was talking at what seemed like a hundred miles per hour, but Harry wasn't listening. The glare his own father had given him in the Transfiguration corridor was still on his mind. It wasn't a look of dislike...it was hatred. Something he expected James Potter to give someone like Snape...but his own son? But then again...he didn't know that Harry was his future son-no one knew. Except Dumbledore. And that is how it would stay, though Harry wanted so much to just tell them. To talk with his godfather again...to never let him go. But he knew all those were impossible. 

Without even realising, Harry and Lily had reached the common room and they were climbing through the portrait hole.

"So Harry...Harry! Were you even listening to me?" Lily demanded, an exasperated look on her face.

"Huh? Yeah! I was!"

"Then what was I talking about?"

"I…er…okay, I have no clue whatsoever." Harry laughed weakly, an apologetic tone in his voice. His mother was the kind of person who needed to be respected.

"Yes, I figured." Lily smirked and rolled her eyes. "You seem tired. Why don't you go to bed? It has been a long first day...hasn't it?"

"Oh yes, definitely. So, it's just up the stairs?"

"What? OH! I almost forgot...I keep thinking you've been here since the beginning...I don't know why! Yeah, it's upstairs and just look for the door that says _'Sixth Year Boys'_. I'm sure Dumbledore has already provided a bed for you. Goodnight then, Harry."

"Goodnight, Lily..." Harry muttered, and smiled slightly. He began to walk to the steps but turned at the last moment. "And um…Lily?"

"Yes, Harry?" She questioned, a bright smile on her face.

"Thanks."

"For what?"

"I dunno...being there? I've needed that since I was one..." Harry whispered, and before Lily could ask him what he meant by that, he quickly walked up the stairs to his new dormitory, never looking back once. He had intended on bringing a knife up from the Great Hall, but had completely forgotten; so to stop the memory of the evil glare James had given him, Harry tried to replace his mind with the smile Lily had just given him. It completely warmed up his insides. He collapsed on one bed, not really bothering if it was his or not. It looked the emptiest. Harry lay face down on the bed; Lily's smile and James' glare circling his mind. This was the day he had always wished for...he had his parents back. And he had Sirius. But he knew that whatever James thought, Sirius would follow. He'd have to do something to gain them, as friends-and he knew breaking into the Marauder circle would be hard.

* * *

James and Sirius walked into the common room with Peter and Remus trailing behind them, talking animatedly about their upcoming night expedition. They stopped dead when a certain person with flaming red hair turned in her seat and glared at them. 

"Evening, Evans! And what a lovely evening it is! First, some delicious food...and next, a beautiful lady!" James exclaimed cheerfully, and Sirius snorted loudly.

"Potter." Lily nodded curtly and turned back to the fire.

"Is that all the poor man gets, Lily Flower?" Sirius questioned, an angelic look on his face. He seemed to be trying hard not to laugh. Remus rolled his eyes and walked over to a chair near Lily and sat down.

"I thought I told you not to call me that..." Lily muttered, glaring at Sirius.

"Oh? Hmmm.Can't recall."

"Of course you can't...your brain is too small."

"Oh Lily! I'm hurt! James...save me! She has broken my heart into a million pieces...I don't think I could ever live again!" Sirius exclaimed in mock desperation and James swatted him away.

"Don't touch me...stop! Ah!"

"Look...as much as I...er...enjoy your company, I'm getting annoyed now, so please, go away."

"Ah but Lily...this IS our common room too..."

"Yes, well, go to the other side."

"But we like this side!" Sirius whined, pouting.

"Get out of my sight!"

"If you insist!" Sirius grinned and took James' arm. "Let's go Jamesiekins...off to the dorm!"

"Oh, speaking of dorms..."

"Yes Lily flower?" Sirius questioned, turning back to the glaring redhead.

"Please don't disturb Harry."

"Who's Harry?" James asked, speaking after a long time. He looked half dazed, half puzzled.

"You know...Harry Patter...the exchange student?"

"Oh. _Him_."

"Yes, him, Potter. And if I hear about you doing anything bad to him...you'll have me to watch out for!"

"Is that a threat, Miss Flower?" Sirius questioned and he was met by a groan.

"That's _IT_! I give up! You guys are just a bunch of immature jerks!" Lily exclaimed angrily and she stood up and trudged up the girls' dorm stairs loudly, leaving James staring and Sirius grinning.

"She digs you, Prongs." Sirius elbowed James and he snapped out of his dream.

"Shut up..." he muttered and began to walk to the boys' dormitory stairs. "Let's get to bed...I'm tired."

And with that, the four Marauders walked up to the dorms to find another person in their room, sleeping. James' expression went right away to a scowl and Remus looked puzzled. Sirius let out a huge laugh, which sounded more like a bark. The boy on the bed stirred and Remus rolled his eyes.

"Good job, Padfoot..."

* * *

Harry sat up quickly and was met by four pairs of eyes staring at him. He quickly got off the bed and looked around the room hesitantly. 

"So...Mr. Patter...may I ask what you're doing in Remus' bed?" came a cold voice and Harry, feeling downhearted, realised it had come from his father.

"James...don't..." Remus whispered, but to no avail.

"Oh! I'm sorryI didn't know it was his...I wasn't so sure which was mine, and…"

"It's oka…" Remus started but James butted in.

"No it's not."

"James. Please. It is my bed...not yours..."

"Yes, but..."

"Okay, you guys, can you please shut up...I feel like sleeping." Sirius interrupted, and both James and Remus glared at him.

Suddenly, from near the door, a small squeaky voice started up.

"Erm…guys...if you haven't noticed...there are only enough beds for all of us...none was set up for…uh, Harry." Harry looked to see who the voice had come from and a bubbling feeling hatred rose up inside of him when he looked at the mousy-hair boy standing behind his father and godfather.

"What! So what do we do now? We can't exactly go to Dumbledore now just to ask for a bed!"

"It's okay...I will..." Harry started, but was interrupted by James scoffing.

"Oh please...look guys, what we'll have to do is conjure one up." James said as if it was the easiest thing ever, and he pulled out his wand. But before he could do anything, Remus grabbed his arm.

"No way Prongs. I'm not letting you conjure anything up. Remember last time?" Harry wasn't so sure what he was talking about, but by the looks on their faces and the flinches they all shared, something must have happened.

"Okay, fine...then what do we do?"

"I wanna sleeeep..." Sirius whined, his voice high pitched and annoying.

"Sirius..."

"JAMES..."

"Remus..."

"We'll flip!"

"Flip?" James questioned, confused.

"Yes, a coin. Someone has to sleep on the floor."

"Hah! No way am I sleeping on the floor!"

"Oh James, please..."

"No! Look...let Sirius sleep on the floor."

"WHAT? Why?"

"'Cause...you resemble a dog. You'd sleep anywhere." James said, his eyes twinkling.

"Okay then...let me get a coin..."

"Hey...I didn't agree…"

"Oh well, we don't want your opinion..."

"Oh no, really guys…I could sleep on the floor..." Harry started, but Remus waved his hand.

"If you lose, then you sleep on the floor. But if you win, you get Sirius' bed."

"HEY!"

"No…really…it's…"

"Look, Harry. If we don't do this, then Dumbledore will say we weren't being 'hospitable' or something lame like…"

"Can you just flip the damn coin?" James burst out; flopping down on a bed Harry figured was his. Remus glared at him then said,

"Okay, Harry you're tails...Sirius you're heads."

"What! But I wanted to be tails!"

"Sirius, please...this is so chil-"

"Moooony...I want tails!" Sirius whined, slapping Remus lightly on the arm.

"ARGH! FINE!" Remus yelled, shoving Sirius away. "Honestly..." He muttered, rolling his eyes." Harry, you're now heads...and Sirius...you're tails. Happy?" Sirius nodded excited, the chance of sleeping on the floor forgotten. He seemed to think he would win. Harry hoped he would...he didn't want another reason for them to be angry at him.

He held his breath and watched the coin drop into Remus' hand. Remus opened his palm and burst out laughing. This couldn't be good.

"HA-Sirius-you-wanted-a-stupid-tails-and-now-you-lost!" Remus gasped, and Sirius collapsed on top of James, whose yell was dulled by Sirius' heavy weight on his body.

"WHAT! But I never lose!" Sirius said arrogantly and then groaned. "This is unfair! I demand a reflip!"

"Nope. I'm tired. Good night." Remus yawned, and without another word, went to his bed and shut the curtains. Sirius stared with his mouth wide open and then turned to Harry. Harry stood their, looking at the bed to Sirius.

"Erm..." Harry started, but was interrupted when James shoved Sirius off him.

"Stupid git! What's wrong with you!"

"JAMES! I LOST!"

"Oh, boohoo...look, I'm going to bed...good night Siri..." And without even acknowledging Harry's presence, James pulled his curtains shut. This left Peter, Sirius and Harry. Harry turned to look at Peter who gave a frightened squeak and ran to his bed, yanking the curtains shut.

"Well then...look, I can sleep on the floor if you want..." Harry said quietly, but Sirius shook his head violently.

"I lost...I lost..." He kept muttering, pulling a few things off his bed and putting them on the floor. "Flipping coins...I'll show him flipping coins..."

And with that muttering, Harry fell asleep. His father was ignoring him, Sirius was probably going to realise it was him who beat him...this was _not_ good. Not good at all.

* * *


	6. Potter Vs Potter

**Somewhere I Belong**

**Chapter 6 – Potter Vs Potter**

Harry groaned, opening his eyes, sweating, still reliving the nightmare he'd been having about Sirius' death. He'd been in his parents' time for a few days now...and the days hadn't exactly been very pleasant. He had finally got a bed for himself, by going and asking McGonagall. He had also stolen a knife from the Great Hall during dinnertime, so that he could resume his cutting, though he had realised he didn't need to cut himself so much anymore, especially if he spent a major part of his day with Lily.

He had never imagined it would be so hard to get so much as a smile from James. Maybe that was because every time he'd seen him, either in the photo album, or in Snape's memory...James had been smiling manifold. However, James had nothing to give Harry but sneers and glares. In fact, Harry was getting rather irritated at James' arrogance. Sirius, after losing his bed to Harry, seemed to be following up with James' act more than eagerly, although he was nowhere as bad as James. Remus obviously didn't like James' attitude towards Harry, but did not make much of an effort to stop James. Peter-like Harry even cared what that idiot of a rat thought of him. His only relief was Lily, who was being extra nice to him.

He had noticed James and Sirius whispering conspicuously to each other, glancing at Harry out of the corners of their eyes now and then. He didn't doubt for a moment that they were plotting against him. He'd just have to be prepared for whatever it was that they were going to do. Well, he'd just have to show them they couldn't push him around.

* * *

"Hey Potter, wait up!" Sirius called from the top of the dormitory stairs to James, still knotting his red and gold tie.

James gave him an amused look, and patiently waited until Sirius joined him. He noticed Patter coming down the dormitory stairs after Sirius, and shot him a glare, and was surprised to see it returned.

Harry headed down the stairs and stopped in front of him, still glaring at him. "Surprised, are you?" Harry drawled, looking amused. "I know you're plotting something against me, Potter. Just thought I'd warn you- I'm not _as_ easy to prank as you think." He walked past James towards the Gryffindor common room entrance.

James felt his anger rise, and raised his wand towards Patter. "Furnunculous!"

Harry whisked around. "Protego," he stated calmly, putting up the Shield Charm, blocking James' attempt to hex him. He raised an eyebrow in triumph, as if to tell James _'I told you so'_, and then pushed past the portrait and walked out of the common room.

Sirius snorted loudly, now hopping on one foot to tie his bootlaces. He tripped suddenly, and rolled down the staircase, finally landing at James' feet.

"Serves you right for laughing at me," James chided, holding out a hand for Sirius to get up.

"I couldn't help it...ouch...it was too funny," Sirius panted, still laughing. "Seriously, that Patter's starting to scare me. I know he looks a lot like you otherwise as well, but when he starts glaring and throwing his arrogance around...I'd mistake him for you _any day_!"

James gave Sirius a glare, and then gave his wand a wave towards Sirius' boots, magically tying up the laces.

Sirius stared at his boots, "Hey! Why didn't I think of that!"

"Maybe 'cause...like Lily said...your brain is too small"

"Hmph," He gave James a push," There, go and side with Lily Flower now! No one ever thinks nicely of poor ol' Paddykins." He pouted at James.

James laughed, slung an arm around Sirius' shoulders, and started walking towards the Fat Lady. "You know Padfoot, I think we should put the pranks we planned for Patter into action."

"Really!" Sirius looked delighted.

"Yes, really"

* * *

Harry walked through the Great Hall and plonked down next to Lily and her friends at the Gryffindor table, feeling elated over having got one over James. He knew that he had probably provoked Sirius and James even more, but he didn't care. He watched James and Sirius enter the Hall, secretive looks on their faces, and knew for sure that he was going to be pranked.

Lily spoke up," What have they done _now?_"

Harry grinned," Oh nothing, James tried to hit me with the Furnunculous spell, and I blocked it. They're just plotting against me now."

Lily looked at him, suddenly looking very mother like as she gave him a look of pride. "I don't mind you standing up to Potter, Harry, but..."

"I just figured that someone should stand up to them. Don't you agree?"

"Of course I do...it's just Harry...it's not very nice to be on the receiving end of their pranks"

"I guessed that...I'll just have to be prepared for anything they throw my way"

"Uh...I think they just did, Harry"

"Did what?"

"I'd rather not tell you, uh…just...just look at your reflection"

Harry peered into his goblet, and almost fainted at the blurred reflection that he saw staring back at him. He now had greasy, black hair and a hooked nose. Great...now he was stuck looking like Severus Snape.

* * *

Sirius choked on his pumpkin juice, after seeing James' handiwork. He let out a chuckle, his laughter growing louder by the second.

"God, James...you're cruel!"

James was laughing too hard to answer. Remus and Peter came up from behind.

Remus quietly asked, "Okay, now what have you done?"

Sirius just pointed to Harry, chortling. Remus stared, suddenly realising whom it was. Even he was unable to stop a smile from spreading across his face at Harry's horrified look. Peter had already started laughing.

James yelled out,"Hey Patter, that'll stay for an entire day, just so you know." He went back to laughing, leaning on Sirius for support.

Harry suddenly glanced up at the four of them, his eyes flickering over James and Sirius, who were laughing their guts out. Remus watched quietly, seeing the amusement that flickered in Harry's eyes as he watched them. So the new kid had a sense of humour then. Harry's eyes flickered over him for hardly any time, and then turned on Peter. Remus was intrigued at the look of hatred that suddenly flared up in his eyes, and wondered what exactly Harry had against Peter. Somehow he had a feeling that there was more to Harry than he was letting on.

* * *

Harry walked to Charms with Lily accompanying him, both trying to ignore the smell that the Dungbombs enchanted to follow them around everywhere were giving off. Lily was furious at James. She was fuming at him all the way up the stairs. Harry figured it was better to listen quietly than give his opinions in the middle.

"Urrgh...what a conceited jerk...I swear I'm gonna give him hell for this! I HATE HIM!" She suddenly snapped, "Harry, ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME!"

"Uh…er...yes I am. Just thinking of how to get back at them, that's all."

"Good, cause I intend to!" She plonked down furiously at her seat, and glared at James when he entered. James coloured, and quietly walked to his seat, Sirius giving Harry a smirk as he followed James. Professor Flitwick asked everyone to vacate their desks to practice the Summoning Charm, as he felt that the majority of the class had still not got the hang of it, and soon there were pillows hurtling in every direction.

After a few minutes, Harry noticed Sirius chortling away to glory, and James looking mortified. He perked up, trying to hear what they were saying, and managed to hear enough to understand what was going on.

"Sirius...you dumbass! What did you do that for! I TOLD YOU...I only wanted to prank Patter..._not_ Lily! I'll never have a chance with her, once she realises what you just did! She'll think it's me who did it, not you!"

Harry held back a chuckle at the desperate tone in James' voice. He brightened up, suddenly realising how he could get back at James.

He glanced at Lily, and tried not to laugh at what Sirius had just done. Lily's red hair was all gone, in place of which was short, black, untidy hair, just like James and Harry's. She didn't look too bad with it, but he had to admit her red hair suited her better. Lily hadn't noticed as yet, in her anger at James. Suddenly she reached up to touch her hair, a confused look on her face. Harry quickly reached out and caught her arm, and quietly whispered something in her ear. Lily shook her head violently. Harry whispered again, a mischievous look in his eyes.

She nodded reluctantly and then turned around, fury clouding her green eyes, and glared at James.

Sirius piped out, "Hey Evans, how's it feel to look like Jamesie here? Cool, huh? James has been having this idea for a while now."

"JAMES POTTER, you...you arrogant jerk, I'm going to KILL you for this!"

James flushed, but apparently decided that it was better to let Lily assume he had done it, rather than try to convince her that he hadn't.

"Well Evans...I think you look rather pretty with my hair."

Even Harry, with his limited knowledge of how girls' brains worked, could have told him that that wasn't the right thing to say. Lily picked up her inkpot, flounced over to him, and tipped it over his head. James just stared back at Lily, ink dripping over his glasses.

She glared at James again, "Look Potter, I want you to reverse those spells you just put on Harry and I. NOW!"

James stared at her, looking as if he was going to fight back for a second. Lily shot him a look, and he sighed. Then, much to Sirius' disappointment, he flicked his wand and reversed both the spells, and also stopped the Dungbombs from following them around. Lily gave Sirius a triumphant smile, and walked back to Harry.

* * *

Sirius groaned loudly, watching James as he reversed the spells on Harry and Lily. "Seriously, James...you are turning into a _wimp_! I suppose you couldn't say no to her!"

James was about to answer, when he heard Lily and Harry snickering at him from behind. Harry gave Lily a high-five as she returned, and James suddenly realised he'd been had. Set up by Harry Patter, who had all too easily found out that Lily was James' weak point.

Harry laughed, shooting a glance at James, and then turned back to Lily, who gave him a peck on the cheek. He felt a sharp rush of hatred and jealousy towards Patter, and stared away, willing himself not to look, so that he wouldn't go over and punch Patter in the face, and probably make an even bigger fool of himself. He heard Sirius and Remus laughing heartily, and Peter reluctantly joining in, apparently not able to decide whether to laugh or give James some moral support. Right, so his friends knew he had been set up too, and they were laughing! Sometimes being friends with the Marauders was like having no friends at all. James walked to the other end of the class, and started practicing the Summoning Charm, though he already knew it so well he could have summoned his broom in his sleep and it would come whizzing towards him.

As soon as class was over, he walked out before anyone else did. He heard footsteps following him, someone running, and came face-to-face with none other than Harry.

"What do you want, Patter?" He heard himself growl.

"Uh," Harry looked flustered, and a bit embarassed,"I just...um...what I did back there- it wasn't too nice. I just wanted to apologise."

"Apology NOT accepted, sorry," James said, and turned away and started walking again, but not before he noticed that Harry looked rather hurt and angry. Like he even cared.

"That was a pretty decent thing he did, you know James," he heard Remus say. "I mean, not many people would have apologised after doing something like that."

"Hmph…well I don't care"

Sirius came out, "Hey Prongsie, sorry I laughed at you…alright? Anyhow...I'm pretty hungry now, wanna go for a snack before the next class! And later on, we can give Patter the shock of his life, okie?"

James knew Sirius didn't completely mean what he had said about being sorry, but he could never remain angry with Sirius for too long anyway.

He smiled. "Sure thing, Paddy"

* * *

Harry stared forlornly at the floor as he walked to his next class, Lily next to him. He had to admit his way of getting back at James had been brilliant, but he hadn't been too pleased at the outcome. And James not accepting his apology made him feel even worse.

"Hey Harry, don't worry about it too much. I know what we did was pretty cheap, and I feel as bad as you, but James deserved it. He's way too arrogant for his own good. Someone needs to put him in his place a little," Lily quietly said, giving Harry's hand a slight squeeze.

"Well okay, if you say so...I'll try to cheer up, alright! I'll be back in a minute, I just need to get another roll of parchment."

Harry ran to the Gryffindor dorms, rummaged in his trunk, and pulled out a new roll of parchment. He ran down the stairs, and stopped short as he felt a familiar chill swoop over him. Voices- those of his parents, called out in his head, and he pulled out his wand, trying to summon up a happy thought as he saw the Dementor glide towards him. He finally concentrated upon the feeling he'd had when he realised he was back in his parents' time.

"Expecto Patronum!"

A silver stag burst out of the end of his wand and charged towards the Dementor. It suddenly struck him that a Dementor couldn't have entered Hogwarts this easily.

"Riddikulus!"

The boggart exploded, and vanished in a cloud of smoke. Only then did Harry notice the four Marauders staring at him in shock, or rather, staring at his Patronus, which was still hovering about him.

Oh shit.

Prongs- his Patronus was _Prongs_.

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	7. This Time Imperfect

**A/N: **Halloo readers! LOL…anyhow, we know this chapter is rather short, and we're sorry. Hopefully we'll be able to update soon enough to keep you satisfied. This fic, when it was up before, was updated a lot more often- about once a week, but we're afraid that isn't possible now, seeing as we're both quite busy. Still, we'll try our best to get the chapters up as fast as possible for you all.

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**To Our Reviewers:**

**Agnus Dei: **Haha…why don't you see how it does?

**Dadaiiro: **Woot! Yayness…you're back! You are the most awesome reviewer ever! If only Kristy would come back too…and haha, why are you even pretending you don't know what happens next? You know as well as us that you've read the next few chapters…hee.

**breezianrave: **Glad you like it…keep reading and reviewing…it makes us happy.

**Ilana Starr: **And yet again…comes the suspicion that this story belongs to the Sirius/Harry slash category. How much ever we may like slash, this story is strictly not slash…unless Draco Malfoy mysteriously walks into this fic from somewhere…haha…cause we LOVE Draco/Harry slash. We aren't too fond of Sirius/ Harry slash though…maybe someday we'll realize its value in this world. The problem is, we're kinda stuck now…the mind seems to connect to nothing but Harry and Draco together forever. Right...shutting up now. Oh and by the way…you rock! We loved your review.

**Kilikapele: **Thank you. And yeah, this is a repost. The fic was taken off a while back, and we've had to post up everything again.

**dweem-angel: **Oh, he doesn't explain anything…hopefully he will later though. Cliffhangers rock!

**Elinny: **Ah hello Moony. Thank you for the remark on brilliance…we told you we were way better than you. We're (or rather…just me- Paddy) thinking that the Harry cutting part is slightly overrated…we need to slow it down a bit.

**Nagirl (ketricha): **Yup…we're aware we're rather slow with the updating. We have all the chapters, till chapter 15. But we're taking our time posting them up, cause we're busy and the editing takes quite a while. We're kinda busy with our school and college right now, so it takes us time to get anything up, not mentioning that we're just about the laziest people on earth hehe.

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**Somewhere I Belong **

**Chapter 7 – This Time Imperfect **

James, Sirius, Remus and Peter stared open-mouthed at the exchange student, their eyes wide. Harry's heartbeat quickened and he was doing some rapid thinking. What was he supposed to do now? Harry looked at James' shocked face and grimaced. How could everything be going so wrong? Why couldn't he be happy? For God's sake, he was with his dead father and godfather again! Suddenly, James snapped out of his shocked state and began to speak. What he said; Harry didn't know- he was already sprinting away at the first syllable, too scared to look back.

* * *

"This is stupid." James muttered, shaking his head. Remus, Sirius and Peter all seemed to come back alive when he spoke. 

"Prongs- didn't you see Patter's...?"

"Yes, I saw it Sirius...it was a stag, so what?"

"Oh please James, you _know_ what."

"Sirius, I saw what you saw, and the stag didn't look anything like-"

"You?" came Remus' voice, and James looked down at the floor. He was thinking deeply about what had just happened. That stag- that hadn't been him, had it? It couldn't have been...he had only known Patter for a couple of weeks and he despised him! He couldn't be his '_guardian_'. No, it was stupid...but yet...

"Prongs, I have seen you transform a billion times! I should know! And I will say it again- that stag was you!" Sirius exclaimed, his temper rising at James' stupidity. Although James sort of agreed, he did not want to admit it. He felt stupid and ashamed. He knew people liked him; but to have him as their guardian?

"No Sirius! I think I should know how I look like- Patter's stupid Patronus was **NOT** me! You understand? It wasn't."

"James, come on..." Remus started, but James held up his hand.

"Not you too, Moony?"

"I'm sorry James, but it was you, as far as I know." James groaned and looked down at Peter for support. When Peter whimpered and backed away, James didn't need any other answer. He threw his arms up in the air angrily, and stamped off, leaving Remus, Peter and Sirius looking at each other hesitantly.

* * *

A few days later, Harry was back to being glared at. It seemed like the day with the Patronus had never happened. Sirius, Remus and Peter had decided to just pretend that they had been wrong and apologised to James. After all, the Marauders weren't really the Marauders without him. Harry knew only about this because of the talks the Marauders had when they thought he was 'sleeping'. 

It was late one Saturday evening when Harry and Lily were sitting and laughing in the empty common room. They were yet again reliving their triumphant prank against James. The joke never seemed to die. The look that James had had on his face was too funny to forget. After another fit of laughter, Lily suddenly became quiet and stared at Harry.

"What's wrong?" Harry questioned, stopping his laughter immediately.

"Nothing...it's just, this feels so good. It has been only about a week or two...but like I said before, I feel like I've known you all my life." Lily whispered, smiling slightly at Harry. She moved closer and grabbed his hand.

"For six years, Harry, I haven't had any real friends here at Hogwarts, but suddenly, you come- and it feels so right. I don't know why."

"I -er - " Harry started, but he couldn't say anything. Lily's grip on his hand was making him nervous and her closeness was unbearable. He tried to move away, but he couldn't. He had reached the end of the small scarlet sofa. _Damn!_ What was he supposed to do now?

"Harry?" Lily's voice came, and Harry looked up into her eyes.

"Yeah?" And before Harry could do anything else, Lily moved in for a kiss.

Harry tried not to yell out in shock, but let out a slight yelp in the process. He dodged away and got up quickly. Before anything could be said or done by either of them, the portrait hole opened and a laughing James and Sirius climbed in.

"Did you see the look on his face? Priceless!" James laughed, clutching his stomach.

"Yeah, wish we could have taken a picture!"

"Oh man, we should have thought about tha- Evans? Patter? What are you doing here?" James suddenly said, his voice turning cold.

Harry looked at Lily and found hurt and confusion in the eyes almost identical to his. Without another word, she got up and walked up the stairs to the girls' dorms. _Great_ Harry thought. _Now my mother hates me as well._

Harry turned back to his father as James let out an impatient, arrogant cough.

"Nothing. Couldn't sleep."

"A likely story! I know what you were really doing!"

"Oh James, please- leave this for tomorrow, I need to sleep." Sirius yawned and stretched in a very dog-like fashion, and Harry resisted from trying to smile at Sirius' actions.

"You go ahead Sirius...I just need a little chat with Patter here..." James muttered, turning to Sirius and rolling his eyes. Sirius shrugged and walked across the common room and up the boys' dormitory stairs. James turned back to Harry and the small smile on his face turned into a scowl.

"Look James...I'm really tired and-"

"Oh, this will only take a while. Well, that's if you tell me."

"Tell you what?"

"What's going on between you and Lily?"

"Lily and I? Nothing. She's just my friend."

"Oh please Patter, don't play innocent."

"Even if there was something going on- which there absolutely isn't...why would you care? And why should I tell you? It's none of your business. Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to go to bed..." Harry turned and began to walk.

"Wait right there, Patter..."

"What!" Harry snapped, turning around.

"You can't just walk away from me like that!"

"Watch me." Harry smirked at James, sharply reminded of Draco Malfoy as he did so, and then spun on his heel and walked up the stairs, fingering the knife hidden in his pocket, feeling decidedly rather vicious.

* * *


	8. Confessions

**A/N: **Hola, readers. Right, Deeps/Paddy speaking here. I'm the one who edits the chapters, and gets them online, so I'm going to apologise for getting this up later than I'd planned. My Microsoft Word kind of got accidentally deleted, so I had to wait till it was back until I could update. And oh my, this chapter took so long to edit. I practically wrote it all over again. Hope you like it!

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**This chapter is dedicated to our friend Maridol, whose pup was put to sleep this week, and her pup. RIP Kuting. We doubt she's ever read our fic, though we've asked her to a million times, but hey, if it gets her a little happier, it's worth it.**

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**To Our Reviewers: **

**Paddyfoot: **Sirius is awesome, hee. Here's the next chapter. Enjoy!

**MoonyIsBrilliant: **Ah, Moony comes to bully us yet again. And no, you're not getting that Best Reviewer's Nick award anytime soon, so don't even ask. And ooh yes, how could we not mention Draco somewhere? Mortal sin that would be. Lily and Harry didn't kiss, btw. Harry kind of leapt away before it was possible.

**Irish Lady Knight: **Thank you soooooo much. Keep reading and reviewing.

**Classical- Storyteller: **We don't totally get what you mean by different perspective…but blah…you liked it, didn't you? That's all we need.

**meg**Really! It's great? Are you sure? Thank you ever so much. Haha…enjoy the chapter.

**Ilana Starr: **Woot! Haha… (Both give slight push) go see what happens to Harry when he apologises to Lilykins.

**Pleione: **Goody! Hope you like the new chapter.

**Kikilapele: **Oh well. Hope the 'knifey' stuff gets explained here. Oh this is the last chapter that will be reposted…since we had just finished posting up this chapter when a day or two later, the fic was taken off the site. But don't you worry; this isn't the last chapter of the story, which is quite clear once you read it. Chapters are still being written. We have about 15 chapters written and kept aside, and we so know we should be beaten up for not posting them up, but we just feel a whole lot more secure knowing that we have chapters waiting to be posted while we cook up the new ones. And ooh! Thank you so much for adding this story to your C2…you have an awesome collection of stories there. Hope you like the new chappie!

Deeps Kikilapele: Oh by the way, I read that story you claim is your favourite ever, and it's AWESOME! I _so_ want an update! Ahem, right, shutting up now.

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**Somewhere I Belong**

**Chapter 8- Confessions **

Harry stared at the knife silently, wondering whether he could do what he had done that one night at the Dursleys', a few days before being transported back into the past. He pulled up his sleeves to inspect the skin of his arms, just to see the effect his earlier inflictions upon it had brought about. There wasn't much sign that he had cut himself, except for a few white scars borne from the worst cuts. All the other cuts had healed and left no scars, which was probably because he'd only ever done it once.

That time around, he had been lying out in the backyard, having snuck out after the Dursleys were asleep to stare up at the night sky; his mind eventually- as it always did- landing upon Sirius. It had hit him just how he had been cheated of a chance of having a family yet again, besides the fact that he blamed himself entirely for it. He had let himself descend slowly into deeper and deeper depression that night, finally growing to become so angry that he had picked up a knife from the kitchen and slashed away at his arms, his mind so befuddled with thoughts that he hadn't quite realized what he had been doing. All he had known then was that it felt good- felt good to watch the dark, almost scarlet liquid ooze out from between his cuts. He had never felt so alive in days.

However, after he had calmed down, he had been appalled at the damage he had caused. He had hurriedly got down to bandaging his cuts, managing to at least stop the bleeding, hardly believing what he had done. Horrified by his actions, he had then done whatever he could to avoid thinking about it- from not looking in the mirror to always wearing long- sleeved shirts.

Now, though, thinking back on that day, finally having come to terms with what he had done, he could remember the bittersweet pleasure he had felt while hurting himself, and could somewhat see why he had done it. After all, he didn't have the most fabulous life, did he? What was the worst he could do anyhow? Ruin it a little more, maybe. In fact, this would be considerably less ruining, as compared to everything he had faced. He flicked the knife lightly then, green eyes glinting dangerously in the darkness as he grazed the knife lightly along the skin of his wrist.

Suddenly, he jerked the hand holding the knife away, realising what he had been about to do. Shuddering, he dropped the knife as if it had suddenly grown burning hot. He got up from his bed, and after transfiguring the knife into something less harmless to anyone standing below the window, threw it.

Still shaken down to the bone, he crawled under the covers, wrapping his trembling arms around his legs and drawing them as close to himself as he could.

* * *

Harry walked down the stairs to the common room, still half asleep. It was pretty early. He hadn't been able to sleep much after almost cutting himself again. When he had finally calmed down enough to close his eyes and try to sleep, he'd found himself thinking of just how messed up his life in the past was. Of all the things he had expected, Lily Evans falling for him hadn't been one of them. He had been so shocked the last night that he hadn't even bothered to go after her. Not that he could have anyway, considering that boys couldn't get into the girls' dormitories. 

That particular memory suddenly made him think of Ron and Hermione, and he realised he had been so caught up with the happenings of the past week that he had totally forgotten about them. He could imagine their expressions if they came to know what had happened to him. And right now, he could really use Hermione's help in explaining to Lily why exactly he couldn't be with her. But right now, it looked like he'd have to do it all by himself. He fell back onto the couch in the common room, pondering over what to say to Lily. He decided with just telling her that he couldn't be with her because he didn't like her in that way. That way, he wouldn't have to tell her that he was actually her son, and not some random exchange student.

* * *

Lily hadn't been able to sleep much either. She had really started liking Harry, and after what had happened last night, she wasn't so sure about that anymore. Every time he'd been around the whole of last week, she'd felt a million times happier than otherwise, and every time he had smiled, she had felt deliriously light headed. She was pretty sure he liked her as much as she liked him. It was pretty obvious. Which was why she couldn't figure out why he'd acted like a total jerk last night. Maybe he didn't really like her in the same way- but she had still been rather hurt when he'd jerked away from her like she was some detestable thing he didn't want to touch, much less kiss. 

She quickly dressed and ran down the stairs to the common room, only to find Harry there, his untidy hair sticking up in a million directions. She gave him a disgusted look, pushed past the portrait, and headed to the Great Hall.

* * *

Harry clambered off his seat, where he had half fallen to sleep, and ran after Lily. 

"Lily, wait!"

Lily just kept walking, not even looking back at him, and Harry frowned, a little crushed. Well, if she wasn't going to listen, he'd just have to make her. He ran up to her, and caught her by the hand, pulling her around and pinning her between him and the wall, so that she couldn't escape.

"Listen to me, will you?"

"NO, I WON'T! What the hell is your problem? Leave me alone!"

Harry winced at how loud she sounded, wishing he had earmuffs.

"Look, I'm sorry about yesterday. I...Lily, I don't like you in that way, alright?"

He was interrupted by Lily giving him a slap on the face. Enraged, he glared up at Lily, only to see tears falling down her face. His expression softened suddenly, and he raised his hand to wipe away her tears, but was stopped by Lily's words.

"I don't want to listen to anything you have to say, Harry. It's pretty obvious that I don't mean a thing to you. You really hurt me yesterday. I can understand that you might not like me, but why did you have to jump away like that? I'm not that horrible, am I?"

She pushed past him and started walking away. Harry dropped his head, muttering the answer in a low voice to himself, wondering just how he was going to make this up to her.

"That's because I'm your son, Lily; your future son," he whispered quietly, in such a low voice that he could hardly hear what he was saying himself. But it seemed Lily had quite powerful hearing, or an invisible pair of Extendable Ears on her, because she turned around looking rather irritated, with a weird expression on her face that was somewhere between confusion and curiosity.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing," Harry mumbled.

"No, you said something. Repeat it."

"I didn't say _anything_! Leave it be, will you?"

"Yes, you _did_...you said you were my future son?" Lily dropped her voice at this, giving Harry a strange look.

Harry looked at her, floundering desperately for something to explain his statement, mentally kicking himself for saying that out loud. "No. I didn't. I just…uh…said that I was your future…uh…honey bun?"

_Honey bun!_ Merlin- now he deserved more than just a kick. _Why, oh why_ did he come up with such rubbish when he was lost for words?

"_What! _I hope you know that makes no sense whatsoever, considering you leaped like a mile away yesterday night when I tried to kiss you, that is, if that's what you mean when you say honey bun. Now, you will bloody well tell me just what you really said, or you will be transfigured into a real honey bun right here."

Lily glared at him, her arms crossed and her eyes blazing, looking decidedly very dangerous. Harry stared for a second, wondering if his eyes looked like that when he was angry. Damn, he'd have to lose the glasses as soon as he could. He was sure the stupid things just covered them up, and _whoa_, they weren't worth concealing. He felt like rubbing his hands in glee together, relishing the fact that he'd probably be able to get just about anything he wanted if he looked angrily enough at Ron and Hermione. Well, _maybe_…it was worth a-

"Harry Patter!" Lily practically growled.

"What! Oh uh…yeah…right. What I said before."

"GET DOWN TO IT"

Harry fidgeted. He wasn't supposed to tell anyone. That was what Dumbledore had said. Oh, what the hell, he was going to spill. Dumbledore could just figure out what to do about it later. After all, he had a feeling he probably wouldn't live to see Dumbledore if he didn't say the truth (or at least something that sounded like it, but since he was obviously incapable of lying right then, judging from that stupid honey bun thing, the truth was probably the better option).

"Okay, yes, I'm your future son. Just…uh…keep quiet about it; I'm not supposed to let anyone know."

"But...but...how can you be my s...s...son?" Lily stuttered, suddenly looking utterly confused.

"That would be because I'm from the future, remember? I've somehow come into the past. I was just walking around Privet Drive, and the next thing I knew, I was here," he answered.

"Wait, how could you be in Privet Drive, of all places? That's where I live now, and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't live anywhere near there when I grow up. I wouldn't want my son to be...to be...anywhere near that bloody sister of mine!" Lily let out in a rush.

Harry blanched. He hadn't meant to let her know that she and James were dead in his time. Well, now he'd just have to tell her, wouldn't he?

He dropped his gaze to the floor, feeling a wave of depression wash over him.

"My parents aren't alive anymore. They're dead. They were murdered when I was one." He glanced up at Lily," That's why I have to live with your _bloody_ sister and her husband and son."

Lily went white as a sheet, and looked as if she was going to cry all of a sudden. "Oh, Harry. I'm _so_ sorry," she quietly said, giving his hand a soft squeeze.

Harry gave her a small smile. "It's alright, Lily. I mean, I never knew my parents. It would probably be worse if I did." He squeezed her hand back in what he hoped was a reassuring manner.

"But...but...Petunia. She must be really horrible to you"

"Oh...she is. And so are Uncle Vernon and Dudley, but I'm used to it by now."

"Ugh...she married that Vernon fellow! I always knew she had bad taste! But...but wait...who did I marry? Who's your father? My…uh…future husband?" She stared at Harry questioningly.

Harry chuckled and gave her an amused look, and rolled his eyes, pleased that the conversation had taken a slightly happier turn- well, at least for him it was a happy thing. For Lily, however…

"I would think it's pretty obvious. Take a good look at me, Lily," he said, pointing to himself.

Lily looked horrified a second later, and Harry let out a loud snort, and then a very unmanly giggle, which he covered up hurriedly with what he hoped sounded like a cough.

"Not...not James Potter!"

"_Yes_, James Potter. Which means I'm Harry _Potter_, and _not_ Harry Patter," Harry managed to gasp out between his laughter at the look of pure disgust on Lily's face.

"Right, "Lily let out a shaky breath, "I married James Potter...what else do I need to know?"

Harry looked up at her uncertainly, "I don't know. You weren't even supposed to know I came from the future. I already feel I've told you too much."

"Well…Harry, at least tell me how we died- James and I," she said, pale in the face.

"Voldemort,"he muttered softly, and Lily gasped, looking horrified again, but in a rather different way. He continued, "You both died, and I survived the Killing Curse...because you sacrificed your life for me. That's supposed to be some old magic, and because of it the curse bounced back onto Voldemort, and he lost a lot of his power. So I became famous as _'The Boy Who Lived'_, and since that day I have had to fight against Voldemort 4 times...and Merlin knows how many more once I get back."

It was Sunday, and they didn't have classes. Over the period of the day, Harry found himself spilling almost everything about his life to Lily, carefully leaving out the parts about Peter's betrayal. He even managed to tell her about Sirius and his death, somehow avoiding the fact that it was because of Peter that Sirius had been sent to Azkaban in the first place. He told her about Ron and Hermione, and all the other people that meant so much to him. He even told her about Snape, at which Lily exclaimed- "To think I've actually shouted at Potter all these years when he's pranked Snape!" Last of all, he told her about the prophecy, something that he hadn't even managed to tell Ron and Hermione.

"And that, Lily, is my whole life, leaving out parts I don't really want you to know about," he announced, and Lily just stared back at him, looking quite exhilarated. Who would've thought? Harry Patter- her future son.

* * *


	9. The Mother's View

**A/N: **Um…hi, Deeps here. Before I'm killed by you lot, let me make it clear that I've been horribly busy. Well, not so busy that I couldn't have squeezed out some time for this…but it seriously didn't work out every time I tried to get down to getting this chapter edited and ready to put up on the site. I'm honestly sorry for delaying this so. I promise I'll have the next chapter up within the next two weeks. All I want for it is a million or so reviews. Not too much to ask for, is it?

* * *

**To Our Reviewers:**

**MoonyLovesSlash: **Tonky still hasn't read this, although she did see the dedication to her. We are _not_ going to make Harry cut himself all that much. Cutting on the stomach and legs is just scary, especially after that Oprah show on this girl cutting herself. Cutting is creepy, and we seriously are not going to have too much of it in this fic. The focus is more on Harry meeting Sirius and his parents.

**Pleione: **Thanks, we think. Hope you like this chapter.

**Irish Lady Knight: **Thanks. Hope you like the chapter.

**Lady Lily3: **It isn't exactly soon…but I think you'll cope, hehe. Thanks loads for being so expressive on how much you liked our fic. YOU'RE BLOODY WONDERFUL TOO!

**Constance Truggle: **Oh Lily will cope…this just opens her chances to seeing that James isn't all that bad a guy, though we have made him seem like a jerk, kind of. Thanks for the review.

**Kikilapele: **Haha yes, having a Marauder in on Harry's secret _would _have been more fun, but Lily finding out just happened. You think we're telling you who's going to learn about his secret next? You wish…haha. Just wait and see.

Aw, yeah…that part about Harry saying he left out a bit from his life that he didn't want Lily to know about is a bit messed up, isn't it? Poor Lily. You can see what she thinks here.

(Deeps: 'A Stranger to Friends' is marvellous! I loved it…I can't bloody wait for it to be updated! Care to recommend a few more fics?)

**blonk: **OMG…your name is so cute! Hope you like this chapter.

**fwuzzfwuzz: **Aw you were feeling crappy? Angst is great though, when you're feeling that way...hehe. We love it when they find out too!

**CuriousDreamWeaver: **

Deeps: Yup…James is pretty much a jerk here, hehe. I know you don't exactly like the cutting, but thanks for reading when I asked you to anyway. And woo…Flipside update needed. (cough)

**LilJbg: **Thanks, here you go.

**silvermoon8705: **Ooh long review! Yes James is rather a jerk here, at least to Harry. We thought we should try to make James a little mean, because we didn't think it would just be all easy for Harry to make friends with the Marauders. It's hard to make friends in just about any new place, and it shouldn't be any easier for Harry just because we fans happen to like him travelling back into the past and meeting his parents.

**james4eva: **

Deeps: Hey Ramya! Thanks so much for reviewing. Hope you like the update.

**Paddy xP: **LOL, you're mental! Thanks for reviewing.

**PotterScar: **We loved your review. Now store those socks away. We're updating, though it hasn't exactly been at the earliest.

**reighost: **Not too bad? That's all you had to say? Aw well…hope you like the story better.

**MarauderKid: **Haha, Harry's alright at keeping secrets, but he's bloody awful at covering up for his mistakes once something has slipped out. Honey bun, indeed. James will find out about Harry in his own time.

* * *

**Somewhere I Belong**

**Chapter 9: The Mother's View **

**Lily's POV: **

The first thing I thought was _'Okay, this guy is insane...move away slowly'_, but now, what he was saying made sense. Long after he had stopped talking and had fallen silent, I watched him. My future son. A _son_. I could hardly believe it. It felt absolutely bizarre to be looking into the face of my own son, who was my age! Not to mention he'd just told me I was going to die young. And worse still, marry that _ass_ James Potter! I quickly cast that thought aside, deciding it was better to worry about just the present for now. Then, as he turned his face and looked me straight in the eye, I noticed something I hadn't really bothered to notice before. Harry's eyes- the ones identical to mine- looked haunted…ghostly almost. As if he had seen so much pain and sadness all his 16 years of life. And he had. He had watched so many of his loved ones die around him. But really, it wasn't his fault. It was no one's fault but Voldemort's. It was Voldemort who had caused the suffering, who had caused the loss; who had made that haunted look permanent. And he was so young. Yet, he seemed so much older than 16. It wasn't fair…not fair at all…

I was interrupted from my thoughts by a loud yell from across the lake. Startled, I turned to see what was going on. I scowled when I saw James Potter and Sirius Black trying to push each other into the lake. I rolled my eyes in despair and thought about what Harry had told me; my future. Of all people, I had to marry the biggest git in the world.

Great.

Absolutely _stupendous_.

I turned to crack a joke about this to Harry, but my throat dried up when I saw the look of longing on his face as he stared at Potter and Black. I tried to establish who he missed more, but I knew the answer deep down. He'd never known me…us. His parents. James and I. I felt a sudden pang of…I don't know what…_jealousy_?

"You miss him, don't you?" I whispered, turning to look at the two boys still fooling around, their futures unknown to them. Harry shook his head as if to wake himself up and turned back to me.

"Miss whom?"

"_Black_," I muttered, trying not to spit the name out too angrily. I don't know why I felt angry. Was it because Sirius Black was a git or because Harry seemed to miss him most?

"Sirius? Yeah, of course I miss him. More than you can imagine," Harry said quietly. There was an undercurrent of deep sadness in his voice, and his eyes dulled slightly as he turned towards Lily.

"Oh," I answered, feeling like kicking myself, resisting the urge to look away from Harry's eyes. _'Great mother you are, Lily...'_ I thought to myself. _'Like you even know how it feels to lose someone close to you'_. Right away, I tried to think of something better to say, but came up with another _even_ stupider remark.

"Why?"

Harry turned away slowly, visible pain in his eyes. He shrugged.

"It's hard to explain. He was just…there…for me, you know?"

"Yeah..." I whispered, turning away as well, my eyes burning.

"I know," I added, but I didn't. I found it unfair. It hurt me. I was his mother. It was _I_ who was supposed to be there for him. But I hadn't been there- he hadn't even _known_ me. Even though I had been spending many weeks now with Harry, I suddenly seemed to lose all that time. I somehow went back to not knowing him. Everything he had told me then had been false. The truth was here…_now_, and it hurt. How I longed for everything to go back to normal. How I longed I had never known Harry existed. That I didn't have to see the look in his eyes that was tearing me apart from inside.

"Harry..." I started, a tear sliding down my cheek. He turned back to me and shrunk backwards.

"Why are you-" he started, but I interrupted. I needed to get it out.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, wiping my wet cheek. If it was possible, Harry shrank back even more. He looked like a small child, cowering from an evil monster.

"For what?" he whispered back, sounding choked up.

"For not being there for you. For…for dying."

"Dying? Lily, you saved my life! It's only because of you that I am here."

"Yes, but..."

"You did nothing wrong. I don't blame you for not being there. I said the wrong thing, didn't I? I made you think that I don't miss you; that I don't even care. But I do care- I _do_. I miss you so much...and now you're right in front of me...and I should be happy, but instead..." Harry paused, taking a deep breath, blinking furiously. He wiped at his cheeks stubbornly with his hands, and I saw some lone tears falling to replace the ones he had wiped away.

"Instead, I'm sitting here, _crying_. I feel so stupid. I have you back, and yet, I'm _crying_…"

I watched Harry fall apart, burying his head into his knees, hugging them tightly. I felt paralysed. I didn't know what to do. I felt helpless. I tried to pat him on the back, but he jumped and moved away.

"I've lost so much in this life already Lily...and I'm only _sixteen_," Harry whispered, his voice choked. I felt a tear spill down my cheek. Of course I did. Who wouldn't? Here was a sixteen-year-old boy- crying. He was alone in his world. All alone. I moved closer to him, and gently slid my arms around him. He tensed up slightly, but as I softly rubbed at his back, he weakened and buried his face in my shoulder. Finally, after everything Harry had told me, I felt like I had a reason to be there. After a few minutes, Harry began to calm down. He let go of me and slowly got up to his feet, looking everywhere but at me, his cheeks slightly pink.

"I'm sorry for that. It's just, I've been bottling everything up, and today, telling you the truth has opened me up a bit. I feel better…like…like a hole in my heart has been sealed…or something like that."

I gently squeezed his hand, offering as much comfort as I could. He finally glanced up at me, a slight smile rising up the corners of his mouth. I was glad to see that his eyes, while still a little red, had a much happier expression in them.

"Well Harry, I'm glad I could help. Even if I barely did anything."

"Oh, you did more for me then you'll ever know..._Mum_."

And with that final word whispered, Harry walked away, leaving me to think about his last sentence, a broad smile spreading on my face.

* * *


	10. Friendship and Fallout

**A/N: **Guess we didn't get our million or so reviews…but hey…you guys are great anyway! Here's the next chapter! Enjoy!

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**To Our Reviewers:**

**LilJbg: **Woo…thank you so much. Is this soon enough for you?

**fwuzzfwuzz: **Haha…you've got updating to do? Go do it! Not that we're liable to speak on that subject (wink).

**Ilana Starr: **Aw…we'd never abandon this fic. For one, we know how bugging it is when people just abandon stories. Plus, we love this fic. Haha…you and your Sirius. We love that part too. Thanks for the review.

**nljfs: **Haha…we admit we never thought we were exploring a new side to the idea of Harry coming back to the past by making James and the others mean to him. But hey, if you guys like it, who are we to complain? Thanks, Nancy.

**Lady Lily3: **Thank you. Keep reading and reviewing!

**Yelene-ryudream: **Aw, 'course Harry's gonna be getting the love he needs while he's in the past. Doubt Lily's going to do much about getting James and Sirius to cut Harry some slack though, she's probably going to be too lost in dreams of Jamesie dahling…haha.

**Calistar Heir: **Thank you! Keep the reviews coming, they make us update more often.

**vampire rouge: **Yeah, we haven't really made the Marauders wonder too much about Harry being there, have we? If you ask us though, most of the time, people can't be too bothered about the ones who come in new, especially when they have enough to do by themselves. Which is exactly why James and the others aren't too bothered…they have enough to do besides having to bother with Harry's sudden appearance. Anyway, thanks!

**Pleione: **Here you go…see what happens now.

**Mrs. Hayden Christiansen: **Hehe, here's your update. Thanks for the review!

**crazy4thesun: **You don't have to have a favourite part, as long as you review! Thanks for the review…have fun reading!

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**Somewhere I Belong**

**Chapter 10: Friendship and Fallout**

**James' POV: **

_SPLASH!_

Alright, stop laughing already...I know I fell in the lake! And I admit it was all because I had my attention focussed on Patter and Evans...who were hugging! _HUGGING! _I mean…that's reason _enough_, right?

I saw Sirius glance at Patter and Evans, and I knew that he'd found out why exactly I had become so distracted all of a sudden. He gave me a knowing grin, and then extended a hand towards me to help me out.

"Come on out, Jamesiekins," he said, an amused, cheeky smile on his face, but I could see he was trying to be a bit supportive for once and not laugh out loud, and I appreciated that but was rather surprised as well. It wasn't often Sirius Black bothered to be very considerate towards anyone's feelings...more so when it came to my obsession with Lily Evans. I took his hand and got out of the lake, soaking wet, my hair plastered to my forehead instead of sticking up in all possible directions as it usually did.

"James, you know…maybe you should give up on Evans," Sirius said slowly to me. "I mean, the girl doesn't seem to be backing down one bit, and that's become more prominent since Patter's come here."

I felt a rush of hatred at the mention of Patter's name. In the few days he had been at school, he had already become one of Lily's favourite people, whereas I hadn't managed to achieve that in over five years of trying to get her to take notice of me. I didn't want to admit it, but I was insanely jealous of him. I glanced up quickly, and saw that Lily was now alone. I stared at her, thinking about what Sirius had said about giving up on her. Maybe I could have done so before, but I _surely_ couldn't now. Something had changed. Lily's gaze flickered towards me then, as if she were trying to question herself about something, and I felt a sudden shiver run down my spine as I felt her gaze on me. My feelings for her had definitely changed- from just a teenage infatuation into something I couldn't very well describe.

"I can't, Padfoot,"I muttered as quietly as possible, embarrassed as hell at having to admit this to him.

"Huh? Why not!" Sirius looked more than just a little confused, with his forehead scrunched up as he stared at me quizzically.

"I just can't…"

Sirius looked long and hard at me, trying to figure out just what was trying to say, and I could feel my face getting redder and redder by the second, as I watched his telltale doglike smirk spread over his face all of a sudden.

"Ah. I do believe Ickle Jamiekins is in luuuurve!"

He made it sound so…bad. Sometimes I wish Sirius Black didn't know me so well. But that made me think. Was I really in love with her? Maybe…maybe not, but this was sure as hell more serious than anything I had ever felt for anyone else before. Sirius poked me impatiently in the side then, not able to stand my contemplativeness anymore, I suppose.

"Are you really that serious about her, James? Huh? _Are_ _you?_" He gave me a curious look, glancing back and forth between Lily and me hurriedly.

I hesitated. I wasn't sure I wanted my feelings out in the open so sure after I had discovered them.

"Aw, Prongsie, you _know_ you can tell me!"

"Well, yes, I guess I am then," I said reluctantly.

Sirius gave Lily and me a last glance each. He seemed to be thinking hard while staring at the ground as he walked.

"Right then, we'll just have to get her to stop liking Patter first. And then...we've got to ask Remus what exactly you should do to get her attention, because your shitty way of showing off every time she's around doesn't exactly seem to work very well."

"Hmph...thank you very much!"

"I'm _serious_!"

"I know you're named Sirius," I said, grinning cheekily at this very lame joke that I frequented upon because I knew it irritated him.

Sirius pushed me back into the lake. He stood over me, while I climbed out soaking wet a second time.

"Hmph...I try to help you get a girl, and all you can do is crack dumb puns!"

I held up my hands in defeat, and Padfoot carried on with his plan to get Lily to like me.

* * *

**Third Person's POV:**

Harry flopped down on his bed, thinking about the day's events as he stared at the scarlet canopy of his bed. It had felt nice to tell someone that meant so much to him about everything that he had gone through recently, though watching Lily's horrified expressions had been hard. Lily had been a good listener, and Harry hadn't been able to stop talking. The desperate need to vent his feelings to somebody had become too strong. The wall he had built up around himself after Sirius' death was slowly crumbling.

He stood up and stretched, realising he was hungry, and decided to head down to the Great Hall for dinner. It was still early evening, and night hadn't fallen as yet. He pushed past the hangings around his bed, and ran down to the Great Hall, joining Lily at the Gryffindor table.

He gave Lily a small nod, and almost automatically, his eyes started to search for James, Sirius and Remus, as they had the past few days. He saw that they were sitting a little away from Lily and himself, but close enough for him to hear what they were saying if he listened hard enough (not to mention cast a spell that enhanced his hearing a little bit).

"No, Moony...you are _not_ going alone tonight!" Sirius muttered furiously, glaring at Remus, his eyes glancing from side to side as he tried to keep as quiet as possible.

"I _am_, and _you_ are not going to stop me!" Remus glared back at him, looking very determined.

"Sorry Moony, we're coming whether you like it or not," James said, giving Remus a look that seemed to say that the conversation was over.

"But...but what about…" Remus said softly, glancing at Harry suddenly, and Harry quickly dropped his eyes back to his plate, hoping Remus hadn't caught him looking.

"Oh, that. We'll manage...after all, you kept us in the dark for long enough. Sirius and I will just say we have detention or something and that you're not feeling too well."

Harry wished he could just go up to them and tell them he already knew about Remus and his lycanthropy. He glanced up at James and Sirius. Noticing the way James' arm was slung casually around Sirius' shoulders, he couldn't help feeling just a wee bit jealous. It was obvious to anyone watching that the two boys were extremely good friends. He couldn't figure out who he was more jealous of though- James for being so close to Sirius, or Sirius for being so close to James.

He awoke from his reverie, and saw that James had his gaze now fixed upon Lily, and was paying hardly any attention to what Remus, Sirius and Peter were saying anymore.

Sirius glanced at James, and then exclaimed happily to Remus,"You know Remy, Jamie here says he's _serious_ about Evans."

"_Oh,_ _really_?" Remus replied, not looking very surprised, but playing along with Sirius anyway. James scowled at Remus and Sirius before returning his gaze back to Lily.

"Ever since this Evans thing started really seriously, he hasn't been paying much attention to us, has he?" Peter said in a light tone, though the look he sent Lily seemed to convey that he really meant what he was saying. Harry clenched his fists. If that git said so much as another word against his mother, he wasn't sure he'd be able to keep himself under control.

Sirius frowned. "Shut up Wormtail, James is entitled to be interested in whoever he wants. He doesn't have to pay attention to us all the time!"

Peter went red, and fell silent. James gave Sirius a playful slap, and then gave Peter's shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

"Wormtail, I wouldn't forget you guys for anything in the world, alright? Don't listen to Padfoot here."

"But Jamiiiieeee, it's _true_. You're _oh-so-in-love_ with darling Evans down the table."

Remus grinned at Sirius, a mischievous gleam in his eyes, even though he looked rather pale and peaky with the approach of the full moon that night. "Right you are, Padfoot."

"Mm hmm, when am I not?" Sirius muttered dismissively. "Anyway...I was just wondering, Jamie...when's Prongs Junior coming? You know...you & Evans...all alone...doing stuff you're not supposed to do." He waggled his eyebrows suggestively at James.

Harry started in his seat, realising he was the 'Prongs Junior' they were talking about. James flushed, and gave Sirius another of his infamous glares.

"Sod off, Black"

"Won't do, sorry Potter"

Remus chuckled softly and started dramatically waving his arms about while saying, "Ah, I can imagine it now. Messy hair; green or hazel eyes; bony arms..." He trailed off, looking at Harry...his amber gaze wide-eyed, and then shook his head, as if he were telling himself it was a mere coincidence, and looked away. Harry found himself wondering why Dumbledore had done nothing to change his appearance.

Sirius batted Remus with his hand to shut him up. "Yes...whatever. The basic problem is...who'll be _godfather_! Mr. Almighty Prefect here or _me_? You have two choices."

Peter flushed at the way Sirius had outright ignored his presence, but obviously decided it was better not to say anything.

"_None_ of you, seeing as there will _not_ be a Prongs Junior...considering that the girl cannot look at me without a look of complete disgust on her face"

"But you've _gotta_ tell us Prongsie! We _need_ to know...so that we can start preparing right now...just in case it _does_ happen"

"He's right...there's every possibility of it happening. Weirder stuff has happened."

"Uh huh...so well...who is it going to be! _Me_ or him?"

"Uh...both of you? I DON'T KNOW!"

Sirius and Remus grinned maniacally at each other, obviously enjoying torturing James about this. Harry thought back to the Sirius and Remus he had known in the future...and realised he had never seen them so full of life, and so vibrant. There had always been a hint of sadness in their eyes. He found that he definitely liked their past selves better.

Remus suddenly glanced at his watch, and clambered off his seat. "Right...I'm leaving now, see you guys later tonight"

Sirius, James and Peter nodded at him, secretive smiles upon their faces.

Lily jerked Harry impatiently. "Harry, will you listen? I must've asked you about _five_ times for the pudding already!"

"Right, sorry."

"It's alright," she said quietly, her gaze flickering over James, Sirius and Peter. Harry noticed that her gaze had rested a second longer on James, and that she didn't look so disgusted anymore.

* * *

Sirius left the Great Hall, waving a quick goodbye to James and Peter, who had still not finished eating...the respective reasons being that James was far more fascinated by Lily than by his food, and that Peter never left James' side if it could be helped. Sometimes Peter got on Sirius' nerves, with the way he constantly hung around James, but he knew all James was doing was protecting Peter, because the guy couldn't bloody look after himself. Peter wasn't so bad though, he had to admit. He was just a little messed up, that's all. 

He rounded the corner, excitement flooding through his body as he thought of the night that approached for Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs. It was true that he, James and Peter still had the power to reason when they transformed, but Remus didn't. Many a time he could hardly remember what had happened the night before, until the three illegal Animagi refreshed his memory.

He looked around, realising he hadn't been seeing where he had been going, and noticed he was in a corridor near the Slytherin common room. He shrugged his shoulders lightly, and headed back in the direction of the Gryffindor common room. He could hear footsteps heading towards him, and the next minute he was face-to-face with none other than Snivellus...or Severus Snape.

"Why..._Snivellus_, how nice to see you, "Sirius drawled, a nasty gleam in his grey eyes as he straightened up to glare at Snape.

"Black," Snape snapped, in an equally cold tone. It occurred to Sirius that they had totally forgotten about pranking Snape with all the hassle James was creating over Patter.

"You could really use some shampoo, you know. That greasiness is getting out of control. I could recommend a few good ones if you liked."

"None of your damned business, Black."

"Sure it is. I happen to be in Hogwarts too, and that stench would scare anyone a million miles away."

"For someone disowned by his family recently, you sure seem to be talking a lot."

Sirius paled. Snape had hit him exactly where it hurt. Sure, he hated his family for their principles on being pure blooded, but deep down, though no one knew this, except for James, Remus and Peter, he did care for them. He yearned to have caring parents like his friends did. Sadly, his own parents didn't care about him. Not one fucking bit.

Snape sneered at him, drawing Sirius back to the present.

"They aren't my family. My family are James, Remus and Peter," he growled.

"Trust a blood traitor like you to find friends in those idiots. James Potter, indeed. What a pair of arrogant bastards you two make. I'm surprised Potter's head even stays on his head, considering how much he thinks of himself."

"Shut up about James," Sirius hissed softly, a dangerous tone in his voice. He raised his wand to hex Snape, but for once Snape was ready for him.

"Expelliarmus," Snape gave Sirius another one of his sneers, as Sirius' wand flew through the air towards him.

Sirius charged towards Snape, anger propelling him forward.

"Impedimenta," Snape drawled, and Sirius fell back against the wall. He hated this. He hated letting Snape have a go at him. He hated feeling vulnerable in any situation. It terrified him, especially after this summer.

"Remus Lupin...another one of your group. What do you call yourselves again? Ah yes, the _Marauders_. Merlin knows why Lupin was made a prefect. Doesn't do his duties too well, does he, seeing as the two of you still get away with everything? I wonder sometimes though- about how pale he always looks. Don't you?"

"No, I don't," Sirius furiously bit out, his anger increasing by the millisecond. "I don't need to, because I know why."

"Oh my, protective, aren't we? With the sort of shit you have as friends, I'm surprised you actually stand up for them. But your mother, oh she's a woman alright. My dad's told me enough about her. Treats you just right, doesn't she? Or she did," Snape said coldly, obviously getting back at Sirius for the numerous times he had been humiliated by him.

Sirius flinched. The pain of the Cruciatus Curse was still fresh in his mind. After all, it hadn't been too long ago that he'd landed at the Potters' residence, bloody and broken. A fresh rise of furious resentment flashed through him, and he hurled his words at Snape...wishing the greasy-haired, sallow-faced boy were dead.

"Shut up, you bastard. If you really want to know why Remus looks so pale all the time, go to the Whomping Willow tonight. Press the root and then go through the tunnel. I hope you get what you deserve."

Snape stared at him wide-eyed, looking as if he were trying to digest what Sirius had said, which was exactly what Sirius was also trying to do. Snape quietly muttered a hex under his breath, causing a nasty slash to appear on Sirius' wrist, then threw Sirius' wand to him, and walked away, black robes billowing behind him.

Sirius sank back against the wall, muttering a spell to bandage the cut Snape had just given him. He was still boiling with rage at what Snape had said. Shaking with sheer anger, he glared down the hallway that Snape had disappeared down. After glaring for ten whole minutes, he finally dropped his gaze to the floor, his anger slowly dissolving into hurt and sadness. The events of hardly a few months ago started reeling through his head, almost as if a movie were being played in front of his eyes. He closed his eyes and groaned, willing the memories to go away, but they didn't.

This summer had been the last straw. He was usually ignored most of the time at home, which was fine with him. It was better than having everyone yelling at him. This summer holidays, however, it seemed his parents had jointly decided to give him hell. They had hurled insults at him a lot before, and said a lot of stuff which he had been quite used to...but he hadn't been prepared for the sudden violence he had had to face. He had already made it quite clear to them over the years that he was completely against Voldemort and his ideals, so he supposed this had just been an attempt to either break him and make him turn over to their ideals out of fear, or to chase him away. Well, they had achieved the latter. His mother using the Cruciatus on him had driven him over the edge, causing him to pack his stuff and somehow make his way to the Potters' place, almost fainting with the exhaustion and pain. They had taken him in, and though they treated him almost as if he was their son, it just wasn't quite right. Sirius felt like a burden on James and his family. He had made up his mind to get a place of his own as soon as he was of legal age to do so.

His eyes fell moodily on his watch, and he jumped to his feet when he realised it was almost time for James, Peter and him to go to the Willow. Damn...how long had he been sitting there anyway?

Wait.

What had he said to Snape finally? Something…something about the Whomping Willow...about the knot that had to be pressed to get into the tunnel.

Oh no.

The colour drained from his face as he realised what he had done.

James...he needed James. Only he would know what to do now.

* * *

James sighed, rummaging through his trunk for his Invisibility Cloak. He suddenly heard hurried footsteps rushing up the stairs, and rose to meet Sirius-but Sirius didn't look ecstatic, like he usually did the night of the full moon. He looked as if he had just been sentenced to life imprisonment in Azkaban. As if he had just realised he had done something terrible. 

"James...I...I...told Snape."

"Huh? What did you tell him?"

Sirius sucked in his breath, a frantic, dazed look on his face, eyes bright with unshed tears. "I told him to...to prod the root on the Wh…Whomping Willow and go through the tunnel."

"**WHAT!** What in _bloody hell_ were you thinking!"

"I...I don't know," Sirius stuttered uncertainly, searching desperately for words to explain to James why he had done it, but he had a sinking feeling James wouldn't want to hear anything he had to say anymore.

"Right," James replied coldly, and Sirius quietly met his gaze, pleading for forgiveness, but saw nothing but disgust and hatred in his best friend's eyes.

James ran from the room in a hurry, and Sirius heard the sound of his footsteps grow softer and softer, until he could no longer hear them.


	11. Rescue Operations

**A/N: **OMG. Deeps here. I'm SO sorry. I'm updating after ages, and I feel all mean. But I suppose since my internet went wonky for quite a bit of time, I can be forgiven. LOL. Anyway, this chapter was initially bigger, but I split it into two parts. The first part is this chapter; the second shall be posted as the next. I hope you guys like it, and that you're still around to read this story after all this time. Steph says hi, LOL. Since she's not the one who does the updating, the author's notes are solely mine. Anyway, see ya'll next chapter (which I sincerely hope to update soon, but I have exams coming up, so I can't promise anything…sorry!).

* * *

**To Our Reviewers: **

**Kikilapele: **Ooh, you liked it? Goody. LOL yes Prongs Junior is awesome. It seems like something Remus and Sirius WOULD fight about somehow, even if it is only to irritate Jamesie.

Poor Siri though, he keeps getting himself into messes, doesn't he? Hehe. Anyway, hope you like this chapter.

**insanechildfanfic: **Let's see if what you predict we're going to do comes true.

**Calistar Heir: **Thank you SO much. And we didn't think Sirius would've spilled the beans unless he was given a good enough reason to either.

**LilJbg: **LOL. Don't fall off that seat! Though after how long we're updating, you probably have. Maybe if we feel kind, sometime, Harry shall finally have his little father-son moments with James.

**rosiegirl: **Thank you.

**Akanksha: **The love triangle is pretty cute, but kind of scary. Imagine your mom or dad liking you…totally weird. And yup, Sirius has been stupid, and he's not going to like the consequences of his actions much. Thanks for reviewing!

**Freak In Corner: **Merci. Hope you like the new chapter.

**Pleione: **When this chapter was written, we honestly didn't think it was so good. But since we've kind of figured you don't give out praise very easily, we'll accept that. Thanks.

**MoonyIsAwesome: **I think we picked up Almighty Prefect from another fanfic we read a while back, can't remember which, but complete thanks to whoever came up with that. LOL at Snape's hair, maybe you should buy him a few hair care products. Ooh yes; James and Sirius _were _rather close in the last chapter, weren't they? They're not going to be that way for a while now though - at least not until the Whomping Willow issue is sorted out. And yippee, everyone seems to like the Sirius telling Snape part a lot.

**Band Nerd Potter: **I'm not telling you, LOL. Thanks though, keep reviewing!

**charmedtomeetyou**Nice name, and thanks.

**james4eva: **We haven't thought about including a Quidditch match in the fic, but since you ask, we'll try to introduce it somewhere if possible. Thanks.

* * *

**Somewhere I Belong**

**Chapter 11: Rescue Operations**

James had never felt like killing Sirius as much as he did in that moment. Pushing through a portrait, he ran into a secret passage he'd used innumerable times, which led him straight to the ground floor. After glancing to see if there were any patrolling teachers, he dashed quickly out the school doors, and towards the Whomping Willow. The tree was still, which meant Snape had probably entered a second or two back.

It occurred to him then that he wouldn't be running crazily across the Hogwarts grounds trying to save his enemy from a werewolf, if Sirius hadn't said anything. Snape just had to be stupid enough to take Sirius up on his suggestion to go see what Remus got up to every month when he disappeared, didn't he? Who listened to anything Sirius said anyway? But then again, who wouldn't have listened to him on this account? Curiosity was human nature, wasn't it? And Remus' periodic disappearances, if you noticed them, were quite jarringly out of place.

Sirius was going to get it from him, if he got out of this alive.

Finally skidding to a stop near the Willow, he picked up a twig hurriedly and jabbed at the root near the entrance, gasping for breath all the while. He was shit scared - but if he stopped to think about it, he'd probably just chicken out. For the first time, he would be entering the Willow without the protection of his Animagus form, because he didn't think Prongs could help with getting Snape out of there alive. He'd seen how Moony got when there were humans around. Those times, however, the humans had been fairly far away, so that Padfoot and Prongs were able to control him. Snape was probably much closer than any of those people, and once James went in there, there was no saying what the werewolf could do to them.

He ducked down and rushed through the tunnel as fast as he could while being bent double. He could hear Snape's footsteps echoing faintly ahead of him, but softly enough to figure that the other boy wouldn't hear him if he yelled out. Thoughts were running through his head faster than he could register them. Steeling his nerves, he moved on, finally dashing into the house, towards the room Moony usually inhabited. He could now see Snape standing at the entrance to the room, his posture rigid, as if he were in shock. He looked beyond the black-haired boy's shoulder, and saw the werewolf turn suddenly, as if it had suddenly registered the presence of humans there.

Oh Merlin, this was not good. _What was he supposed to do?_

Moony roared, and rushed forward. James' heart rushed into overdrive. It was all he could do to raise his wand over Snape's shoulder and yell.

_"Impedimenta!"_

It worked.

Moony stopped in his tracks, and James rushed forward, thinking fast. Grabbing Snape, he pulled him backwards toward the tunnel, hoping to get out of there or at least a relatively safe distance away before the spell's effect was lost. Snape stumbled, but started moving finally, and they both rushed into the tunnel - Snape first, James second.

Suddenly there were pounding footsteps heard behind them, accompanied with loud, ferocious growls.

"Shit shit shit! The spell's stopped working. Hurry, Snape," James gasped out, desperately trying to speed up.

For once, Snape listened without arguing. There was no hope of shooting spells at the werewolf, since they couldn't see it, so they ran. The werewolf's footsteps seemed to grow louder and nearer with every passing second.

James was starting to tire, but he pushed himself forward, stopping himself from looking back to see where Moony was, because that would only serve to slow him down.

Yes! He could see the entrance, he could! Now if only they could get there in time to stop from being werewolf chow. Snape fell to his knees as he reached, groping for the root frantically.

"Damn it. Potter, where is this bloody root? We're going to die," Snape said tersely.

"Move over, I'll find it. Keep your wand at the ready, okay?" James gasped, dropping down quickly into Snape's position. He quickly moved his hand around outside, finally managing to get hold of the root.

"Go now!"

Snape didn't need telling. He rushed out quickly, as James tried to duck out while still holding onto the root.

He could hear Moony's footsteps quite loudly now, and knew the werewolf was just a few feet away now. He would have to risk getting out while the tree was moving. He crawled out, letting go of the root, and got to his feet, dragging his right lower leg out of the entrance just in time to miss Moony's paw, which grazed against it lightly before the Willow started moving again, preventing the werewolf from getting out. James ducked, trying to avoid the branches swishing crazily about him. Just as he thought he was going to get out of the tree's reach unharmed, a branch swung towards him, and before he knew it, his feet were in the air and he was flying towards the ground.

He crashed against the ground, and felt his glasses break. He thought he heard a bone snap, but wasn't too sure which one - he was aching all over, and his thoughts were growing increasingly difficult to hold on to. Exhausted, he finally gave in to the blackness invading his mind.

* * *

Sirius dragged himself after Dumbledore, to whom he had just narrated the evening's happenings in a desperate, horrified rush. Dumbledore hadn't said anything about what Sirius had done as yet - just that he would deal with it after assuring that Snape, James and Remus were safe. Now they were making their way to the grounds. Sirius had never seen Dumbledore walk so fast before. He almost had to run to keep up.

After James had left to follow Snape, Sirius had sat staring at the wall in a daze for a few minutes, shocked by how cold James had been towards him. He hadn't expected him to react in the way that he had. In fact, he didn't know what he had expected. Now, though, he was just hoping desperately that his best friend was alive. He didn't know what he would do if he knew he was responsible for anything that happened to James. Or Remus, for that matter. Oh Merlin, Remus was going to kill him when he found out about this.

Sirius bit at his nails furiously, feeling increasingly more worried and tense as the minutes went by.

He had met Peter while leaving the Gryffindor common room, and just told him that they weren't to go to the Willow that night, finally leaving the other boy with a hurried promise of explaining everything later. He wasn't sure he wanted to explain the situation to anyone anymore.

They were nearing the Willow. Dumbledore, who was a few paces ahead of him, suddenly came to a stop, kneeling down before a body lying there. Sirius ran ahead, coming to a stop near the old man, who was now turning over the boy lying motionlessly on the ground. It was Snape. He didn't seem to be hurt in any way though – just unconscious. Sirius internally sighed with relief.

"Well, Mr. Black, it appears that Mr. Snape is quite alright, but seems to have lost his consciousness," Dumbledore said, in his usual calm tones, straightening up and starting to look around again. Sirius nodded silently in response, feeling like hitting the headmaster. How could he be so calm even in such situations?

He looked around desperately for James then, who he could not see anywhere nearby. He turned this way and that, his consternation building as he continued to see no sign of his messy-haired, bespectacled friend.

"Damn it! James, where are you?" he muttered under his breath, walking around the Willow. Something crunched under his boots, and he lifted his foot, only to find James' spectacles in quite a broken state. Sirius let out a huge sigh of relief, leaning down to pick them up. That had to mean James was safe. Or so he hoped. Touching his wand to the glasses, he muttered, "Reparo."

Gazing around again with slightly more hope, he saw something that looked rather like James' lanky hand, sticking out from behind a bush. He rushed towards the bush and went around to its other side. James was there, blood trickling from a cut on his forehead and his arm bent in a horridly crooked manner, but otherwise he looked…well…alive, and that was all Sirius wanted. Calling out to Dumbledore, he worked on hauling James up. With James' good arm slung over his shoulder, he moved out towards where Dumbledore was standing.

Dumbledore beckoned to him to follow him, before turning around and walking towards the school, Snape floating by in front of him. Sirius shuffled along behind him, supporting James as he walked.

They entered the hospital wing soon enough, where Snape and James were handed over into Madam Pomfrey's capable hands. Dumbledore quickly gave her a brief summary of what had progressed earlier that evening, during which Sirius tried to avoid the glances Madam Pomfrey threw his way, feeling the guilt over what he had done well up yet again.

* * *


	12. Cutting The Ties

**A/N: **Hey all. I'm so sorry this update has taken so long, but I'm really, really busy. I have my finals coming up in February, and this is a big year for me, so it's been hard to find time to work on this chapter. I did have this chapter done, but I wasn't happy with it, which is why I split it up into two…giving you readers the bit I _was_ satisfied with. I have rewritten this chapter so many times that it is unbelievable. LOL. Finally, though, I seem to have landed with something I am pretty muchsatisfied with (though it's a wee bit too angsty). Hopefully, you people will be satisfied with it too. Anyway, I hope I can put up the next chapter soon, seeing as it hardly needs any editing, but I really can't promise anything, I'm sorry. I'm horribly busy, and I really need to study, so I'll try, but that's all I can promise you. Anyway, enjoy…I shall shut up now.

P.S. Steph says hi! LOL.

* * *

**Somewhere I Belong**

**Chapter 12: Cutting The Ties **

Sirius shifted uncomfortably, feeling awkward in the silence that followed after Madam Pomfrey left the room. Dumbledore wasn't saying anything. He was just staring out of the Infirmary windows with a thoughtful, yet somewhat stern look on his face. Suddenly, he turned around, beckoning to Sirius with his right hand to follow him. Sirius walked after him quietly, heart pounding in fearful anticipation of what the Headmaster was going to say. He had never seen Dumbledore look so serious before. There was no twinkle in the light blue eyes, and no hint of a smile on his face.

Sirius had been to the Headmaster's office many times, but usually, even if it was for playing a prank or such, James had been there with him most of the time, and nothing had seemed very serious then, because all they had done then was a few pranks. Now though, Sirius thought, as he climbed onto the revolving staircase that looked none too inviting, he could almost feel the impending doom. Why hadn't he felt anything of the sort when he had been brashly blurting out Remus' most closely guarded secret to Snape?

They had reached the top of the staircase, and Dumbledore opened the door and made his way to his desk, sitting down behind it and surveying Sirius with his cool blue gaze as he walked in. Sirius wished a hole in the floor would open and swallow him up.

"You do understand, Mr. Black, that what you have done is completely unacceptable? You have not only put the lives of three students in great danger, but also betrayed the implicit trust Mr. Lupin has placed in you. I am afraid that under such circumstances, I will have to deal with you very harshly."

Sirius swallowed very hard, feebly nodding, all the while forcing himself to meet Dumbledore's gaze. He was going to be expelled, and the very thought of it made him want to hurl. He'd have nowhere to go if he was. His family, seeing as he had run away from home, would never accept him back, and he doubted he'd be able to stay at James' place anymore, and…

"You will serve detention for the rest of the year, and you will be taken off the Gryffindor Quidditch Team, subsequently losing your position as co-captain of the team…"

"I'm not expelled?" Sirius breathed, hardly believing his ears, his heart lightening just a tiny bit.

"No, Mr. Black. I would expel you, but that would alert the Ministry to these happenings, and they would be all for putting an end to Mr. Lupin's life if that is the case," Dumbledore replied, looking sterner than ever, and Sirius' heart sunk. He hadn't thought of the Ministry, of what they would do to Remus if they found out. He knew, of course, but it hadn't struck him, and suddenly everything he'd done seemed so much more horrible. He sunk into the seat in front of the Headmaster's table; dazed and angry at himself, then realised that Dumbledore had never asked him to sit. He shot up at once, stumbling backwards, and stopping just before he fell backwards.

"Mr. Black…Sirius," Dumbledore said, his tone softening slightly as he looked at Sirius. Sirius looked back at Dumbledore, thankful to see that the Headmaster didn't look very stern anymore.

"As I was saying, you will serve detention for the rest of the school year, and will lose your joint position as Quidditch Captain that you share with Mr. Potter, and you will not be allowed to play Quidditch anymore. No, not even next year," Dumbledore added, seeing Sirius' questioning look. "I believe it is a small price to pay for what you have done, Mr. Black," he said firmly, and Sirius nodded forlornly in agreement.

"Also, 200 points will be taken from Gryffindor. I cannot do much more to punish you other than give you more detentions, or take more points. I deem further punishment by my hands unnecessary though. I am quite sure your friends will take care of that."

Sirius winced. He was quite sure of that himself. He couldn't imagine Remus greeting him very enthusiastically now, or even wanting to be his friend anymore. Dumbledore cleared his throat loudly to draw Sirius' attention. Sirius jumped. He had been so lost in his own thoughts that he hadn't heard what the Headmaster had said.

"Sorry, sir, you were saying?"

Dumbledore gave him a sad smile, and answered, "I was saying that you should go to the Hospital Wing now, Mr.Black."

Sirius swallowed and briefly nodded, not knowing what to say, but still feeling like he had to say something, anything to make up for what he had done. "I…I'm sorry, sir. I never meant for this to happen, I just…I guess I didn't realise what I was doing…" he finished lamely, uneasily watching Dumbledore for his reaction and hoping he wouldn't be too mad.

Dumbledore surveyed Sirius, and nodded slightly, replying with, "Yes Sirius, I am aware of that, and yet, however sorry you might be, it still does not cancel out the fact that you have done something terrible - almost unforgivable."

Sirius nodded again, trying to dislodge the lump in his throat as he thought of James and Remus. He turned slowly, opening the door and stepping onto the spiral staircase, hoping against hope that James would listen to him, that James would understand why he had done what he had done. Hopefully, James would still stick by him, not totally, but at least to some extent. But somehow, judging by how everything had turned out so far, Sirius wasn't so sure anything of that sort was going to happen. James had seemed cold and withdrawn when he'd told him what he'd done, and somehow, best friend or not, Sirius wasn't sure that James' reaction was going to change.

He had never felt more alone as he did in that moment, striding along the silent corridors of Hogwarts towards the Hospital Wing.

* * *

James couldn't remember the last time he had woken up so knackered. No wait. He could. He and Sirius had sneaked off to The Three Broomsticks at midnight, where Madam Rosmerta had chided them no end, but finally given in to serving them, all thanks to Sirius' skills of charming and sweet talking her. James shook his head lightly, a slight smile on his face. The lady liked his best friend entirely too much. Sirius, of course, did nothing but take complete advantage of that fact.

The morning after, however, they had gravely regretted drinking so much, and poor Peter had borne the brunt of their bad moods and pounding heads - by being blasted into the third floor broom cupboard, because his voice had seemed squeakier and more irritating than ever to James' and Sirius' ears.

Anyway, on to why he was feeling so…in pain. Was it Quidditch? No. He couldn't remember any recent matches. Snivellus trouble? He snorted. No way. Like Snape could ever do anything to _him._ Hah.

Suddenly, it was all coming back to him. The Whomping Willow…running after Snape…Moony running after them…escaping from the tunnel…being hurled in the air by the tree's branch…everything going black.

Sirius.

Sirius had been the cause of it all. Why and how it had happened, James didn't want to know. All he was worried about was how Remus was going to take all of this. He would be devastated. First over how Sirius had betrayed his trust, and then over how he got so close to hurting James and Snape. Devastated was an understatement though. James knew Remus, and he was positive the boy would put himself through hell for something that wasn't even his fault.

What he _didn't_ understand was how Sirius could have done this. How he could've blurted out Remus' most fiercely guarded secret as if it was nothing - to _Severus Snape,_ of all people. As much as Sirius had been his best friend for what seemed like forever, and as much as James was used to his stupid, silly ways, and could tolerate and understand them better than just about anyone else, this was going too far. For once, he couldn't tolerate it, nor did he understand it. It disgusted him. He couldn't forgive Sirius for this.

He opened his eyes despairingly, letting out a long, drawn out sigh. Blurred shapes came into his line of vision, and he scrabbled around for his glasses. He put them on, and then groaned as his eyes fell upon the person slumped on the chair in front of his bed. Sirius was asleep, and his face looked haggard and worn-out, and James felt a slight twinge of worry...but only a slight one. He raised his head on hearing Madam Pomfrey approach, and gave her a tired smile in greeting.

"How do you feel now, Mr. Potter?" she asked, levitating a few potions towards him.

"Sore."

"After these potions you should feel a little better."

James winced, raising an eyebrow at the potions that were drawing closer to him, which, as always, looked and smelled rather unappealing. She chuckled.

"You know I'm going to force you to have them anyway, so don't bother with the faces."

She handed him a small phial of a green liquid, and he downed it, almost choking at the taste. Spluttering, he handed her back the empty phial, grabbing the jar of water and pouring himself a glass. Madam Pomfrey set down the rest of the potions on the bedside table, motioning to him to have them, and bustled off. Wincing, he proceeded to pick up another potion, resigning himself to the fate of having to drink it.

It seemed he had broken his arm, and got a whole lot of bruises and cuts as well. Well, what could he expect after being tossed in the air by the Whomping Willow? Actually, he surmised, he should be thankful that nothing had been seriously damaged.

A slight noise from Sirius' direction distracted him, and he turned his gaze towards the tall, black-haired boy, watching him yawn and stretch out his arms. Sirius' opened tired grey eyes, blinking a few times till the world around him came into focus; and emitted a startled noise on seeing James awake. Sirius hesitantly looked up at James, not seeming entirely sure of how he should act or what he should say. James' expression hardened. He had never felt so angry towards anyone his entire life.

"Bloody hell, Sirius, just what were you thinking?"

James watched as Sirius flinched at his hard tone, and waited impatiently till Sirius looked up again.

"I…I don't know. I was so angry at Snape. I wanted to…to hurt him."

"So you thought you'd use Remus for your little revenge plan, did you?" James said harshly, and then regretted his words (but only a little) when Sirius' face crumpled, and he stared at James with a confused and hurt look on his face.

"No! Of course not! I'd never _use_ Remus for…for anything. You know that!"

"No, I don't. I don't know that anymore. I don't want to even look at you anymore. You disgust me." James snarled, struggling to bring his anger under control and stay under the covers instead of flinging himself at Sirius and throwing a punch at him. Sirius stared back at him uncertainly, a myriad of emotions flitting across his handsome face, ranging from hurt to anger to bewilderment.

"Look," Sirius started, his voice shaky but determined. "I didn't mean to…to put Remus in any danger when I said that stuff to Snape, okay? At that time, I didn't even know what I was saying. Snape had disarmed me, and I…I don't know…I was…I was… scared, I suppose," Sirius said, whispering out the last few words, looking away from James as though ashamed of himself.

He put up his hand when James looked ready to say something again. "No, wait, let me finish. Snape – he started taunting me, you know…about the stuff that happened this…this summer. He was saying a lot of stuff about you and Remus as well, and I got really angry, okay? It didn't help that I was…scared. And…and then I just blurted out the stuff about the Whomping Willow and how to get into the tunnel. I didn't even know what I was saying. I only realised after Snape left…and that's when I told you about it," Sirius finished, meeting James' gaze with a pleading look.

James looked away. He didn't know what to say. This wasn't what he had expected Sirius to say. He had imagined that Sirius, in his usual idiotic fashion, had gone and blurted out everything to Snape, or that Sirius had disregarded just how safely Remus guarded his secret from the world, and as a prank or joke, had told Snape how to get to the Willow. It had just been easier to accept that, and hate Sirius for it.

Now though, he couldn't do that. He was the only person who knew how deeply the summer's events had affected Sirius, and he knew how hard it must have been for Sirius to admit to James that he had been scared because he had been defenceless, especially when it was Snape who he had been scared of. James bit his lip, his thoughts warring with each other. He felt sorry for his best friend, and even so, he knew what Sirius had done was unforgivable; knew just how destroyed Remus would be over this. Remus wouldn't forgive Sirius even if he heard Sirius' side of the tale, he was sure.

James supposed he could always remain sort of neutral, staying a friend to both Sirius and Remus, but he could already see that causing trouble. When he was with Sirius, he got carried away, and tended to forget about Remus and Peter once in a while, and he knew it irritated Remus sometimes. Remus would probably be angry at him for giving Sirius a second chance (even if he didn't show it), which just meant that he wouldn't talk to James properly, and keep everything to himself. James had seen Remus do that before, and knew it would probably destroy the werewolf. Remus needed someone to help him deal with this; someone to confide in, and James was the only one who could take that place, seeing as Peter was rather impossible at such stuff.

He had come to his decision. He would just have to tell Sirius that he couldn't be friends with him anymore, and he would have to make it seem that he was angry with him; he knew that if he gave Sirius this reasoning…Sirius would only keep on trying to persuade him to give him another chance. And it wasn't like he wasn't angry with Sirius anyway – he was. He was still rather angry…just not as much as he had been. He drew in his breath, preparing himself for the stuff he was going to say, wincing inwardly as he turned back to Sirius, who was staring forlornly at the floor, as if he was sure James was going to tell him their friendship was over. Well, James thought, pushing down his guilt - at least he was sort of prepared for it then.

"Sirius," he said hoarsely, and Sirius glanced up warily, a slightly hopeful look on his face. Oh Merlin, that had not been a good move. He should not have called him Sirius, he should have used his surname, and he should have sounded angrier. AGH!

Sirius only looked at him expectantly, his grey eyes wide.

"Black," James said, drawing out the name as if it were something filthy, trying his hardest to ignore Sirius' involuntary flinch, and the look of hurt that had suddenly ingrained itself into Sirius' eyes. "Did you honestly think that would make me forgive you? I don't care whether the stuff you just said was true, all I care about is that you betrayed Remus' trust. No matter why or how it happened, it isn't going to change what you've done, and you better get used to it. You can't always rely on me to be there every time you mess up."

"What are you trying to say exactly?" Sirius asked quietly.

"That we can't be…we're not friends anymore." James replied, lessening the harshness slightly, wincing inwardly again as Sirius looked crushed. The next second, however, James wasn't sure he'd even seen the expression, because Sirius had, as always, covered it up with his usual mask, except this time the mask was one of anger, instead of the usual playfulness. Sirius stood up, his fists clenched.

"Fine…if that's how you want it," he snapped, before turning around swiftly and trudging out of the room, robes swishing in his wake.

James watched him leave dejectedly, sinking into the sheets of the hospital room bed, wishing it was legal to use Time Turners, so that he could turn back time and change everything that had taken place in the last few hours.

* * *

The next morning, James woke up, dazedly staring at the ceiling as he tried to gather his bearings. Madam Pomfrey had let him come back to the Gryffindor dorms last night, after one last check up to confirm that he was completely okay.

He propped himself up and pushed aside his bed hangings, then reached for his glasses and put them on. Patter and Sirius were already up. Peter was still sleeping soundly; blissfully unaware of everything that had happened. He had probably been trying to chat up some disinterested girl last night and completely forgotten about Remus.

Patter was dumping books out of his bag, and placing others inside it. He had already showered and changed into his uniform. James interestedly studied him. As much as he didn't like the guy, he still found him kind of interesting. He looked exactly like James, which was totally weird. His hair stuck up in all directions in the same way, and he seemed to hate it as much as James did, considering the way he kept trying to flatten it. He was slightly shorter than James though, and much thinner, which James put down to his not eating much. His eyes were green, and he had that weird scar on his forehead. So well, they weren't really _that_ similar, were they? Hah.

There were other things about Patter as well that made him so mysterious. For one, he was supposed to be an exchange student from America, but he had a British accent. Of course, that might not mean anything. He could be originally from Britain anyway.

Patter's Patronus was another thing that made James very curious. He still found it pretty uncomfortable to think about it...he couldn't imagine being a guardian for anyone, much less Patter. Maybe it was just a coincidence. But there was this distinctive air of secretiveness around Harry Patter, and James just couldn't figure out the exchange student.

Sirius walked out of the shower then, with nothing but his pants on. He put on his shirt and tie, all the while managing to avoid James' gaze. He picked up his wand and muttered the usual spell he used for drying his hair, and then, with one flick of his head, his hair had settled into place perfectly. Patter was watching Sirius as well, and James noticed his eyes widen as Sirius' hair fell into place.

"How do you _do_ that?" Patter asked, giving Sirius an incredulous look.

"Do _what_, Patter?" Sirius questioned grumpily.

"Your hair..." Patter said.

"Oh...that. I-unlike you, have perfect hair, thank you very much," Sirius replied sarcastically, turning away to put on his robes. Next, he pushed his feet into his boots, without bothering to undo the laces to put them on properly.

"I was only asking a simple question. There was no need to be so rude," Patter said, his eyes narrowed in anger.

"Whatever. I'm not really in a mood to talk, Patter"

Patter raised his eyebrows and gave James a quick glance, as if he had suddenly noticed Sirius and James weren't talking. Understanding suddenly dawned on his face, and he fell silent, going back to packing his bag, occasionally turning his face upwards to look at Sirius and James.

So far, Sirius had successfully avoided meeting James' eyes. Suddenly he clambered up from the front of his trunk, something clenched in his fist as he walked towards James. He roughly pushed whatever it was into James' hand, and then stiffly walked away. James opened his hand, and saw what Sirius had given him-the Gryffindor Quidditch Captain badge. James raised his eyebrows quizzically, looking curiously at the badge. He and Sirius were Co-Captains for the Quidditch Team, McGonagall having decided they were better off with joint leadership of the team. She would've never paired them up otherwise though, because the two of them caused too much havoc when together, so they had guessed it was because the only thing they'd ever been serious about was Quidditch.

"Why've you given me this, Sirius?" he asked.

"It's not mine anymore. Dumbledore told me yesterday that I've been removed from the team. I won't be playing next year either," Sirius said in a tight voice.

"What? He can't _do_ that!"

"Oh, I almost forgot," Sirius said, acting as if he hadn't heard what James had said. "I had scheduled Quidditch tryouts this Tuesday at 4 pm. The team needs a new Seeker. And I guess you'll need a new Beater as well, considering I've been kicked out of the team," Sirius replied, eyes downcast. He slung his bag over his shoulder, and then started heading for the door.

"Where're you going?"

"To see Remus," Sirius said dully.

"Wait then. I'm coming as well"

"Why?" Sirius asked, not sounding angry, but not very happy either.

"Because I want to be there - to give Remus some support," James replied, a cold edge to his voice. As much as he had felt sorry for Sirius yesterday, he hadn't yet forgiven him for telling Snape about Remus. He picked up his clothes, heading into the shower for a wash.

"Right," Sirius replied quietly, plopping back onto his bed.

* * *

Harry watched as Sirius plopped down on his bed, a guilty expression on his face. He had finally figured out what must have happened. Sirius must have told Snape about how to get into the Willow last night. James must have gone to save Snape. That had to be what had happened. And now James wasn't talking to Sirius. Dumbledore must have kicked Sirius off the Gryffindor Team. That must have been horrible, Harry pondered to himself. He knew how it felt not to be allowed to play Quidditch, and if Sirius felt the same way about Quidditch as he did, he must be feeling terrible right then.

"So you're no longer Quidditch Captain for Gryffindor?"

"Gryffindor Co-Captain, actually. But yeah, in answer to that, I'm not one anymore," Sirius answered, looking utterly downcast.

"You and James were Co-Captains? So now he'll be the sole captain?"

"Yes, I suppose so," Sirius replied shortly.

"OK. When did you say the tryouts were again?"

"This Tuesday; four o'clock. Why would _you_ be so interested anyway?"

"Used to play the Seeker position at my last school"

"Oh"

They both fell silent after that. Peter had woken up, and was looking curiously at Sirius. James stepped out of the shower, changed quickly, and then beckoned to Peter. He gave Harry a very pointed look, as if telling him to leave. Harry decided he had better, and picking up his bag, he left the room, though he was feeling very much inclined to stay.

* * *

Remus Lupin woke up, feeling extremely confused. His whole body was aching, and he couldn't move without something or the other hurting. He groaned lightly, causing Madame Pomfrey to come rushing in.

"Remus dear, are you alright?"

"Not really. I'm hurting all over...ouch," Remus said, wincing at the pain that shot up his side as he tried to sit up.

She gently helped him prop himself up.

"Here. Drink this. It won't make you feel much better, but your wounds will heal a bit faster. Make sure you don't move about too much today. You might end up making your wounds worse."

Remus nodded as she tipped the potion into his mouth. After swallowing, he finally opened his eyes, scared to even see how bad his injuries were. He gasped softly. He was covered almost from head to toe in bandages. Last night must have been really bad. From what he could remember, he hadn't been joined by Padfoot, Prongs and Wormtail. No wonder he had hurt himself worse than he usually did these days. But even so, he couldn't possibly have hurt himself so much. Unless…unless something had happened that he wasn't aware of. Something - that he couldn't remember. A suffocating, almost suppressing feeling filled him. He hadn't _hurt_ anyone, had he?

Madame Pomfrey came back, and before she could speak, he interrupted her.

"Have I...I hurt anyone?"

"No dear. Though if James hadn't come in the nick of time, you just might have," she replied hesitantly, as if she wasn't sure she wanted to tell Remus about what had happened.

She was interrupted by a knock at the door. Opening it, she peered out at whoever was standing there. She looked a little hesitant for a second, but then beckoned to whomsoever it was to enter. James, Sirius and Peter walked in, and Remus quirked his eyebrows curiously on seeing Madam Pomfrey give Sirius a stern look, which the black haired boy looked away from, focussing his gaze on the floor like it was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. Remus grinned inwardly to himself. Maybe Sirius had blown up her potions cupboard or likewise.

"I'm giving you only half an hour. This boy needs a lot of rest," Madam Pomfrey said sharply, leaving the room as the three Gryffindors nodded. James walked towards the bed, Sirius and Peter following him. There was a collective gasp as they came in front of Remus' bed, the loudest coming from Sirius.

"Moony, are you alright?" James asked concernedly. Remus decided he'd just go straight for the truth; there was no point in lying anyway.

"No," he replied quietly. "It hurts. It hurts…a _lot_."

"Oh...er...I assume you want to know why you hurt yourself so bad, and why we didn't come last night." The last bit was said in a whisper, and James looked around warily after speaking.

Remus gave him a slight nod, wincing when pain shot through his neck.

"Uh...Snape had entered the Willow last night, and I followed him to get him out before…you know…" James trailed off.

Remus swallowed hard, looking away from him and not answering for a while. Oh God, _Snape_ had come, and James had followed him? Madam Pomfrey had said he had not hurt them, but…he had to know…needed to hear it once more from James. He wouldn't be able to forgive himself if he had done anything.

"Did I hurt any of you?"

"No, you didn't. I managed to come just in time to get Snape out. Another minute…and something might've happened."

"Good," he sighed, feeling as if a great weight had been taken off his shoulders.

"But...but how did he know how to enter the Willow?"

James looked at Sirius then, who was still nervously hanging back, with an incredibly guilty expression on his face, looking as if he'd rather be anywhere else but there. Sirius fidgeted, and then moved forward, his gaze nervously flitting between Remus and the floor as he started to speak.

"I told him how to."

That was the one thing Remus hadn't expected Sirius to say. His throat tightened, and he cleared it, still not completely believing what the black haired boy was saying.

"Run that by me once more, won't you?" Remus said softly, staring hard at Sirius.

"I told him how to get in," Sirius said quietly, biting his lip and finally meeting Remus' eyes steadily.

"Why?" Remus felt incredibly hurt and betrayed.

"I don't know…why. He was…he was insulting you and James...and taunting me about my family...so I just-" Sirius faltered, probably realising how lame his reasons sounded, Remus thought uncaringly.

"So you just thought you'd make your best friend a murderer, did you?" Remus said accusatorily, glaring at Sirius.

"N…no...I-"

"What the _bloody hell_ were you thinking? This isn't one of your everyday jokes or pranks, you know. I could've killed them, Sirius…KILLED them. Do you realise that? Did you want to be responsible for Snape's death, _even_ if you hate him? Did you want ME to be responsible for his death? I should have never trusted you with this. I should have known…that you'd let me down. That you'd act like this is all some big joke to you."

Remus' voice faded into the tense silence that was filling the room. Sirius was shaking now.

"No! I…I didn't mean it as a prank. I would never…and it isn't a big joke to me…I don't know why I did it…I'm…I'm sorry, Moony," Sirius finished lamely, dropping his head in shame.

"Don't call me that. Don't call me Moony. I trusted you, Sirius. I trusted you with this, and you betrayed me,"

"Can't you at least try to...to forgive me?" Sirius pleaded.

"I don't know if I _ever_ will be able to. I don't want to even look at you right now. Get out of my sight, Sirius," Remus hissed and turned away, gaze firmly rested on the wall on the other side of the room.

"Please, M...Remus," Sirius reached out, tentatively touching Remus' shoulder. Remus flinched. He couldn't believe that Sirius had told Snape. He couldn't believe he had ever trusted Sirius with this. He should've known that Sirius - with his don't-care-ish attitude about everything, would give away his secret.

He should have known.

"_Don't touch me_. Just LEAVE, Sirius"

Sirius dropped his arms so that they rested by his sides. He slowly stepped backwards, a lost expression on his face. He gave one last glance towards Remus, who still wasn't looking at him, and then turned around, defeated, and left the room.

"James, Peter...if you don't mind, I'd like to be alone right now," Remus said softly, turning to gaze at them.

"No problem, Moons. We'll leave."

"Take care, Moony"

"Call us if you need to talk or anything, alright?"

Madame Pomfrey was back, and she started ushering James and Peter out.

"Out! Out! I said only half an hour! The poor boy needs rest. Don't you dare come in till tomorrow, unless he calls for you."

Then she helped Remus lie down again. Pain laced through his body as he moved slowly, but he hardly felt it, still trying to push the hurt away.

* * *

**A/N:** PLEASE REVIEW! Make the life of the poor ickle authors who are slogging over their books! LOL. 


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